How to Spot an Eejit: The Recruitment Model

The past few weeks at work have been particularly interesting for me as I'm in the process of winding down operations, handing over key clients to my colleagues and also recruiting for my replacement as well as 2 other newly created positions in my company.Sidebar: Isn't it nice to actually hear of a company expanding in these gloomy times? So many people have commented on how unusual it is to hear about a Non Profit expanding right now, but we're doing well and actually our services are more in demand than ever!
Anyway, I degrees. Back to the recruiting.

I've done a fair bit of recruiting over the years both here as well as in previous jobs. Although the actual interview part is fun - you get meet all sorts of interesting peeps - the lead up to that can be a painful process akin to pulling teeth! The past few weeks have been an endless run of creating job descriptions, scanning resumes and trying desperately to find the good ones from amongst the mountains of rubbish. And I do mean mountains given that so many people are out about job hunting right now and a lot of those have the idea that they'll just apply to every and all postings in the HOPE that someone out there will give them a call.
Well, that's just the very worst approach to a job hunt in my (humble) opinion and all it does is piss off the person who has to wade through all the rubbish resumes. In this case, ME.
Still, every now and then I do find a resume that makes me pause. Not so much because the person has a great skills set or an amazing cover letter, but more because of the absurdity of the statements in the resume or appalling and very obvious grammar and spelling errors and (best of all) outright pleas to be considered for the position.
Really? You want to apply for a management position where you'll be overseeing projects and liaising with external clients and you start out by begging??? Really?
The list of stupid statements is endless, so I've tried to narrow it down to the gems of the lot. Like the guy who began is cover letter with a "Good Morning Madam, I hope you are enjoying the sun." Of course, this would have been a lovely greeting had the sun actually been shining on the day I read his application instead of the torrential downpour that soaked me on my way in to work that morning. Or the candidate who stated that they had "tactile AND hands on experience with managing projects". I wanted to call him back and offer him a new thesaurus.
Then there was the guy who was "affortless" at integrating new solutions to old problems. And while we're talking about problem solving skills, let's not forget the candidate who declared that she possessed "extra traditional yet creative" problem solving skills. My thought - huh?
And let's not forget the plethora of unprofessional emails attached to these applications like chyna_gurl@xxx.com, jediking@abc.com and my personal favourite, pushtheenvelop@123.com

In spite of the obvious frustration around having to sum up one's entire professional life into 2 or 3 concise pages, I still think that resume writing is essentially simple.
Don't write it in all caps, do spell check, and most certainly don't list drinking as a hobby.

Solicitations

I've just been given a much delayed (but still appreciated) birthday gift in the form of a $25 coupon to The Evil Empire of Chapters. I won't go though my entire rant how how I hate to shop there (again), but free books are free books and I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. (No Shopaholic, I'm not calling you a horse)

I did make a solemn vow that I will NOT buy any more books prior to my departure, but again, free's free and besides, I'm not hanging onto that vouchers until I get back in 2 years!

So, I'm cordially soliciting advice from my readers on what book I should purchase. And why!

Socially Awkward Moment # 653

I've been recently reading about a blogger friend's travels in the land of the leprechaun and apart from the description of the beauty of the hills and little towns and general countryside, she's been talking about the food! Apparently, in Ireland, a guest is not being properly treated unless he/she is being constantly plied with food and drink in large (and alarming) quantities. In that respect I guess Irish people are very similar to my Nana! Beans has told me much about the legendary Irish breakfasts (2 fried eggs, 2 rashes of bacon, 2 sausages, 2 fried tomatoes, white pudding, black pudding and coffee. Followed by a light serving of cardiac arrest) that he regularly consumes. But the part that most worried me is that I was going to be living with him for a month or so, and what wretched effect was all that food going to have on me???? Of course, as luck would have it I'm dating Mr. High Metabolism himself and in spite of stuffing his face silly with all sorts of fried foods washed down with copious amounts of Guinness, the boy is irritatingly thin as a... well.... beanpole!

Just as I was pondering my inevitable oversized fate, I get a call from the yoga studio down the road to remind me that I had a prepaid card of 18 classes that I had bought last year and it was about to expire in August. Eureka! I'd go back to the studio and use up the card before I leave so that even if I bloat horribly after, at least I'd get to Scotland looking reasonably good!

And so, I set off to my first class yesterday after work.
Pilates Mat? Check!
Water bottle? Check!
Workout clothes? Check!
Can-do attitude? Double check!

Five minutes into the class I realised why I'd stopped going to Pilates in the first place.

For starters, I couldn't figure out if I was supposed to be breathing in or out at specific points and most of the time I was just trying to catch my breath if anything. Also, I didn't really remember what any of the exercises or poses were called, so while everyone else was tranquilly doing deep breathing exercises while holding Angel Arms over a C Curve, I on the other hand was constantly secretly peeking through half closed lids to figure out what all that mumbo-jumbo meant! And in any case, I couldn't manage most of the exercises anyway coz my amply distributed fat kept getting in the way of me and the desired effect.

But the worse hit about half way through the class when I knew....just KNEW that I was going to fart! And there was not a damn thing I could do to stop it!

I tried to hold it in for as long as possible, but seriously have YOU tried to hold on to a *parp* while simultaneously doing what in effect is pumping you stomach up and down to create the air in the first place?? It's simply not possible.

Desperately I looked around. Serene pilates poses everywhere. I could feel it slipping out, and with every iota of my being I prayed that it was a silent killer and not a trumpet solo. At least with the former there was a chance of plausible deniability! And yes, I was trying to keep my features as neutral as possible. Even harder!

Thankfully, it was a silent one. Not sure if it were killer or not (since it went away from me) but as the minutes passed and no one reacted, I started to breathe again.

Not sure if that's what they meant by letting out your inner peace, but hell I'd take it!

Can you say F-U-G-L-Y?

My neighbours two doors down are a lovely congenial Sri Lankan family - Ma, Pa, 3 kids and Grandpa. They're always smiling and waving at folks who walk by. They send over sweets and delicacies to us on Hindu festivals. They are keen gardeners and in my personal experience people who are loving and nurturing gardeners, are generally loving and nurturing towards other human beings. They are quite and orderly and MOST IMPORTANTLY never hold loud rave parties. All key attributes you want in a neighbour.

The catch?

An unfortunate sense of home and garden decor. I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

Ah well, could be worse I suppose. Right?

Starry Starry Night

On Friday night, I met up with a friend with whom I had not had ANY contact with for the past 2 years, but when we meet it was like no time has passed at all. Peaches (unfortunate name from his high school days that just stuck) and I caught up on each others adventures on a sun kissed patio over some fine brews and good food.

On Friday night after Peaches and I said goodbye, I headed over to a West Coast Swing dance and hit the floor for 3 hours straight. I wondered, how is it that I can be a sexy inhibited dancing QUEEN here, but am all legs and arms and awkward as hell each time I do the Rumba? Same level of "sexy" required for both dances. Huuuum.

On Friday night, I left the dance hall tired and sweaty and instead of hopping on the subway, I took a detour and a midnight streetcar ride. The driver had a little transistor radio on and the music of Cole Porter hummed gently.

On Friday night I finally got home at 2am and realised that Friday night was long gone. Saturday was here.

Midnight Madness

I am tired and listless and my eyes are incapable of staying open and focused. Been staring at the same email for about 15 minutes and trying to compose a sensible response. T'is all in vain. I need sleep, and I need it now!


Really, its not my fault. I went off to bed like a good girl at 10pm last night knowing that I had to be in at work for 8 am. I had just fallen asleep (or so it seemed), when the phone rang. Once, twice, three times..... long pauses in between telling my sleepy brain that it was a long distance call. Its too late for a telemarketer, so it can only mean that someone's calling about some bad news. I jump up and scramble for the phone and say a shaky Hello?


A cheery voice at the other end yodels, Pixy! I'm so glad you're home! How is everyone?? Somewhere in my brain, it registers. Aunty M? Is that you? What's going on? I start to panic as I recognise that it is my aunt from Australia. Was it my cousin's daughter? Was she ill again? Perhaps it was my uncle. We TOLD him to get help with the construction for the house extension. Or perhaps......


Listen, can you hear that? my aunt says. I snap back to the call. Can you hear it? Its rain. Just torrential!! Now I'm sleepy AND confused. You called me all the way from the Gold Coast to tell me about the RAIN? I asked incredulously. It's 1:15 in the fu*king morning!!!


Oh dear, I must have miscalculated, she said. I thought it was 10:15. No, I called to tell you I had a heart attack.


Turns out she'd had chest pains the week before and when they persisted, she drove to the hospital to find out what was wrong and was told she'd just had a heart attack. She was in the hospital 3 days then discharged and told that she'll need to start treatment to clear the 2 blockages in the valves. She nodded at them, left the hospital and then some days later got onto a plane and flew to the other side of the country for a wedding.


All this she told me in one breath. Then she asked me if I was ready for the move. Then she told me about how my cousins had gone into business together and bought a chain of stores. Then she told me to give my love to the family, bid me a cheery farewell and hung up.


Five minutes later I was still holding the phone to my ear.


I would have been utterly convinced that I was dreaming the entire time except for the dull pounding in my head that I knew was the onset of a headache. That was real enough. I switched off the light and tried to settle back to sleep, glancing at the clock.


2 am.


I thought, Tomorrow is going to be a pain filled day.

Dare to Dance!

One of the primary reasons I have enjoyed learning ballroom dancing over the past 2 years is the fact that the lessons are kept very entertaining thanks to the (unintentional) efforts of the head instructor. I'm going to call him Line Man based on how he's always going on and on about the "line of dance" and about the angles and lines in each of the dance steps.

Line Man is passionate about dancing - that much is evident. Sometimes though, he gets too caught up in the drama and passion of the dancing atmosphere and forgets that he's in a classroom. This results in him using some rather interesting terms and analogies to explain or break down the steps to the students.

Like yesterday for example at the Level 1 class where I am a teaching assistant. We were teaching them the very basics of the Tango which requires a rather close contact between the partners in order for the dance steps to be executed well. In many cases where the students are not a couple, getting them to attempt that level of closeness is challenging. This level 1 class was particularly timid. Even the couples in the class seemed adverse to the close contact of the dance and the results were shaky at best. I tried everything to get them to relax and loosen up, but even my best quirky one liners were being met with stony silence and I was beginning to have that distinct "Is this mic on?" feeling. Even Line Man seemed to be giving up, and in a final attempt to salvage some of the class he instructed everyone to just dance around the room using the steps that they'd just learned. He gave them one last piece of advice. This is the most manly of ballroom dances guys. Just push into her. Dare to go right between her legs.

There was a split second of pin drop silence, and then with one accord the entire class burst out into hysterical laughter. I am happy to report that most of them did follow the advice, and were able to execute the steps quite well for a "virgin" tango dancer!

Stupid Parents = Stupider Children. Help stop this cycle of destruction!!

By most accounts, Queen Victoria was a cranky old bat who lived and reigned far longer than she should have. Still, I cannot help but feeling a surge of love for the old girl every spring when we are graced with a much coveted day off on the 3rd Monday of May in celebration of her birthday.

I was supposed to head over to Shutterbug's place on Saturday for a pot luck + communal viewing of Eurovision 2009. Most ashamed to say that I had never even HEARD of Eurovision until she sent out the invite a few weeks ago and even then, I had to go google it! Who knew this had been going on for almost 50 years??? Beans scoffed at the whole concept, but was also quick to point out that Ireland had apparently won the most times! (funny boy!). Anyway, that's where I had planned to be on Saturday afternoon, thinking that it would a great addition towards my Preparing to Live in Europe series. But, life turned out differently and thanks to some majorly yucky sensations in my tummy I was huddled in bed until late afternoon. Texts back and forth t'ween Beans (who was in Ft. Williams at an Iron Man contest with some mutual friends) and I made me feel heaps better and by that evening.

Sunday morning dawned bright and beautiful and it seemed a pity to waste such a glorious day indoors. A quick bout of calls to Beer Baron, Trippy and Lady Killer had us all heading out to the Toronto Zoo where we spent a de-lightful afternoon animal gazing. Not so de-lightful however was fighting our way through the crowds and crowds of families each with a couple of strollers that were close in size to a mini humvi! Apparently, "I have a kid" is a good enough reason for every parent to abandon all rules of polite social conduct - such as waiting in line - and push and shove ones way to the front. This would make sense in a situation with only ONE person with a kid/stroller such as at a bus stop or subway, but doesn't really work the same when about 20 people around you ALSO have over sized stroller filled offspring. Trippy and I kept hoping that a couple of the parents would get into an all out stroller battle and we would have been so ready with a play by play commentary!

The abundance of species Parentus Stupidus made us realize just why there are so many kids who grow up to be total douchbags; really, they cannot help it after the constant interaction with douchbag parents throughout the formative years of their life. Case in point, at the Artic Wolves paddock, Parentus Stupidus # 1 to her youngins: Oh look at the cute white doggie boys. His name is Wolf.

And a few years from now, we will hear about this same kid being mauled by a grizzly on a camping trip because he went to play with the little brown bear that was just like Teddy.

Old Wives' Tales

A very strange side effect of Bean's stomach flu has been his inability to stop hiccuping. Apparently it was so bad that he hardly got a wink of sleep last night and it continued all day today playing havoc with his work as well. One of his colleagues told him that its an old wives' tale that you hiccup when someone is thinking about you.

And so, I got a text message a while back that said I love you too, but for feck's sake can you think about something else for the next little while???

Revelation

The notice about my leaving went out to my colleagues on Monday. I was relieved because it was getting very awkward at work when people were wondering why I wasn't picking up projects that were directly related to my work and why at the beginning of the fiscal year it was announced that a lot of my major clients were being redistributed. I hadn't wanted to lie about my leaving, but until my VP made the official announcement there wasn't a damn thing I could do!

And yet, when I saw the email and read the announcement for myself, a chill went down my spine. This was it. Certainly no turning back now! The die was cast and in 57 days I would be unemployed! There was a certain *gulp* factor to that realization!

Then, logging in to Skype this evening I was met with a very low down and subdued version of my Beans who in a tiny tiny voice told me that he'd been sick all day, and for most of the night before. No need for details here, but any of you who've been through a bad bout of stomach flu will know what I'm talking about.

And as I listened to him, I knew that I didn't want to be this far away from the one I love. I wanted to be able to hold him and comfort him when things were wrong and to clasp his hands and dance around madly in the good times. This long distance thing was crap and thankfully in a mere 61 days I was going be with him again.

Written in the Stars

Flipping through the paper this morning, I saw that my horoscope advised that I ....go outside and claim the world. It will make you awake to the infinite possibilities out there.

Taking that into consideration, I took my lunch and sat outside in the brilliant sunshine and indulged in a favourite pass time - people watching.

Now, back in the office I am listless and sleepy from all that time in the sun. Wasn't this suppose to "awaken" me?

BFFs

Pursuing an Ancient Path

After a 4 hour conversation on Skype yesterday, Beans and I finally had our tickets booked and a tentative itinerary for our summer trip - or weekend wedding frenzy - to London and Israel in August. As it stands, we'll travel down to London on the evening of August 4 and meet up with Big T, Bean's brother with who we'll be staying. College pal Drama Queen (DQ) is getting married on the 7th and apart from celebrating the wedding of course, I'm looking forward to a mini reunion of a couple of college pals who are making the trek from Bombay, Bangalore and Boston.

The day after the wedding, Beans and I fly to Tel Aviv. Friend Shutterbug and her husband's Israeli wedding is the next day after which we have until August 18 to wander around doing touristy things.

On the agenda are visits to Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Galilee, Akkon and Haifa. We threw around the possibility of a quick visit to Petra in Jordan (think Indy Jones and last crusade) but soon realised that we would not be doing the place justice if we just skimmed in a out on a one day trip. Hence, Petra awaits us another day.

But, there's a lot to see and do in Israel, so I don't think we'll be bored. Also, Jules mentioned that she may be able to swing by and visit on the weekend seeing as she's in the neighbourhood, so that will be a whole other cool piece to look forward to.

Suggestions welcome!

The Answer

For anyone who has every wondered why dancing and travelling are my passions, here's why. I couldn't have expressed it better!

Enjoy!

Rude Awakenings

Drifting in and out of a comfortable Saturday morning dream, I could hear that pitter patter of the rain outside my window. I drew the comforter closer around me and burrowed deeper into the bed. An almighty clap of thunder jarred me right out of my reverie and brought the harsh light of day into focus.

Except, that that light was muted and subdued, even though the curtains were pulled back. I opened my eyes wider and saw that the sky was dark with angry clouds and the rain wasn't a pleasant pitter patter anymore, rather a vicious lashing force working with a wind that bent the maple tree to ominous angles. I was still taking this all in when I head a rumbling. Thunder, it wasn't. It sounded more like a monster version of a garbage truck was making its way down my street. I peered out of the bay window, puzzled.

And then, jumped back in alarm as hundreds upon thousands of missiles suddenly landed on the lawn in front of me with an intensity that made them bounce back up and slap against the window pane. For the next 5 minutes the air was filled with the rat-tat-tat of these heavenly bullets striking against the driveway, the sidewalk, the parked cars and the roofs.

And then, just as suddenly as it arrived, it ceased. The rain lessened to a muffled hum and then that too stopped. And only then did I creep back to the window to take stock of my battered world.
Pictures by a friend, LK.

Verdict

Ever since I made the decision to move, I've been going through a roller coaster ride of emotions. In the manic/excited phase, I dream about travelling across Europe, spending time with Beans and experiencing a wonderful world of new opportunities and encounters.

On the flip side, there are also the phases of abject terror where I envision myself having to peddle my wares on a street corner to pay the rent and (it gets worse) not even managing to get enough that way coz I'm not hooker-like enough! (I AM my own worse enemy aren't I?)

My most recent fear? That I'm nowhere NEAR stylish enough to live in Europe.

I told this to the Lady Killer when I met him last week. My extent of style is throwing on earrings or a necklace. That barely counts as style!

To which he replied, You're moving to Scotland love. That barely counts as Europe!

Back and Blue and Brown all over

A couple of weekends ago I helped Beer Baron and his lady love (LL) move into a new apartment conversion loft unit. Over 2 days, BB, Trippy, LL and myself hauled, moved, pushed and tugged at various pieces of furniture and umpteen boxes and other assorted odds and ends that left me with some spectacular bruises all over my arms, torso and legs. Some of these movable units included custom made red leather cowboy boots, 3 microwaves (when the new place has a built in one), 2 racer bikes (one of which has not been ridden in 3 years) and 4 egg cartons of hand painted 40 year old Ukrainian Easter eggs.

All moves have their up and downs, but this one was particularly eventful. Like when one of the couches slipped out of my hands on the way down the stairs and ended up pinning Trippy to the wall at the bottom. Or when we got to the new place and had the truck semi unloaded, the skies ominously darkened and a gale force wind took up whipping around any and all loose debris and pelting us with gravel from a nearby construction site. It was like being in a war zone and having shrapnel flying at us! If that wasn't enough, the wind somehow activated the fire alarm in not one, not two... but THREE adjoining buildings causing their collective sirens to ring for the next 20 minutes and then ring in our ears for the next 3 hours... give or take!

By day two, we were all physical and emotional wrecks so thankfully Lady Killer dropped by to help on Sunday afternoon or else there would have been a couple o corpses to add to the pile in their living room.

Somewhere in between, Beer Baron decided that it was getting too hot (this was pre storm) and with the aid of the moving dolly and the combined efforts of Trippy and LL he managed to get one of the loft windows open. The whole operation looked rather like a rehearsal for a Cirque du Soleil routine and of course, we HAD to take a picture!

It's been 2 weeks now and we're not sure if they've figured out how to close that window again!

Monster Accomplishments!

It is my privilege to announce that all 3 members of Team Leaping Badgers successfully completed the 73 mile Maggie's Monster Bike and Hike event this past weekend. The boys also raised over 3500 GBPs through online donations, auctions, sweepstakes, quizzes and some outright begging to family and friends.

Honestly, those lads are pleased as punch right now. And rightly so! Not only did they finish a really challenging event - 30 miles of biking, 43 hiking from Fort Williams to Inverness - they also surpassed their fundraising goal by a large margin! They should be very very proud of their accomplishments.

So Damn Proud.
Swollen head proud.
New Daddy proud.
Just nailed a supermodel proud!

Well.... you get the picture!

Look Who's Talking (Again)

This weekend was packed solid with a visiting out-of-town cousin, attending my first wedding shower that turned out better than expected (primarily because I won a game), Trippy's birthday celebrations that included some interesting interactions with a group of guys out on a stag night. And as icing on this festive weekend cake - comparing and executing games at a friend's daughter's communion party. I've only just returned from the party and am utterly pooped!

It did help that I had terrific hair ALL WEEKEND LONG. How rare is that!

Also, was pleasantly surprised to see two bloggers had returned after a long extended hiatus. CB/Mrs. Pirate and Miss Melville - glad to have you back.

The Darling Buds of May

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
- Sonnet XVIII, Shakespeare

Photos taken around my neighbourhood this sunny weekend afternoon.

Honesty

The Ex emailed me the other day to congratulate me on the upcoming move to Glasgow. He mentioned that he's started his own photography website as a side business and asked me to have a look. I know you have a good photographic eye and I'd like your opinion was what he said.


I took a look at the site. And then I was torn.


Was I supposed to give my opinion as a friend (wait, are we friends now? When did that happen?) or as a fellow photography enthusiast?

I chose the latter, and here's what I said:


You have a great eye for photography - that goes without saying. You are able to capture lighting and shadows to the best of your advantage and in the process capture a moment on film. Not many people have the skill to do that.

If you're motive is to photograph young ladies who all look like they're about to audition for the next issue of Sex Kitten, then fine. You're accomplishing your goal - and I'm sure they are as well.
Don't read on.

If however you are serious about photography and human subjects - you have a lot of work to do. There's nothing that distinguishes you (or your subjects for that matter) from the hoards of other "fashion" photographers out there.

Teach your subjects to showcase their talents and photogenic skills not with their wardrobe and bodies only - but with their face, their eyes, their expressions and overall body language. As a model, they should be capable of a range of emotions. Sex is a type of emotion, but there are a hundred others, and only one of the models managed to come up with a difference shot that set her apart from all the rest - and even she maxed out at 3 expressions.

Try working with an experienced shoot artist or art director to instruct the models and give the shoot a focus and a theme until you are comfortable (and experienced) enough to do both - photograph AND direct.

Watch, learn, read about other fashion photographers. I'm sure you will be able to improve your own style through their knowledge and experience. Attend workshops if you can. It will only help you gain further insight into your skills.

OK, that's my piece. Best of luck in your new endeavours.


Do you think I was giving him good advice? Or was I simply too harsh or worse - bitchy! Tell me readers - I'm agonizing right now!



*********Update*************

The Ex's email response:
Thanks for the constructive criticism. I don't get enough of it.
I agree with everything you've said. Most of this stuff is just fluff - often that's all the model wants. And, since I've been doing this, the main thing I've been concerned with has been the technical side of it, and coming up with consistent results. The most challenging part of the process is what you're talking about, and I know my work is lacking in that department. Hopefully I'll continue to improve...

*whew*
Thanks for your comments guys! Much appreciated!

Bother!

Just found out that this years Toronto Open Swing Dancing Championships are being held the weekend AFTER I leave for Thistle Towne.

Damn!

Now I won't be around to defend my title!

Fantasies

At dance class last week we were learning a new step in the Waltz that required the leaders to take 4 steps backwards and then turn and whip the followers around. The instructor was warning all the leaders to make full sure that the path was clear before attempting this move on a crowded dance floor.  

Think about your follower like a beautiful and expensive car. You don't want to damage any part of that body - do you? You're in the drivers seat and can do anything. Show off the car, but keep it safe.
To which, one of the guys replied, "So if we're pretending.... can we pretend this is a convertible and take the top off?"

Higher Education

My company can accept only a limited number of applicants each month for a specific internship program. Once those numbers have been met, a notice goes up on the website that says:

Thank you for your interest in the XX Internship program. All screening locations are now closed to further intake of candidates.
Registration will reopen on the 1st day of every month. Please try again at that time.
During the closure of the website we will not be accepting any new applications either by email or phone. We will be working on completing the screening of all our current registrants only.
We are unable to respond to individual inquiries but please watch this space for updates.

We recently received the following email:
To Whom It May Concern:
I am highly interested in the XX program and tried to register online on several occasions. However, the system does not allow me to do so. Was there a deadline I was not aware of to register?
Sincerely,
Ms. ABC
M.S. Economics.
M.A. International Affairs
Fulbright scholarship recipient

Me thinks, a refund to Fulbright is in order.

Happy Earth Day

Here's hoping that everyone will take a step towards a greener tomorrow. My contributions:

• Taking public transit - everywhere, every day
• Printing on the back of used paper at work. Works for all internal office documents
• Carrying my travel coffee mug and water thermos instead of paper cups and plastic bottles
• Always, always using cloth/reusable bags at shops and grocery stores
• Upgrading our furnace, fridge and oven to greener models
• Using less heating and AC by dressing warmer or lighter at home
• Adding to my garden - both indoors and outside
• Researching on recycling for every one of our household products - from batteries to bottles, electronics to eggshells!

After all, isn't all of this worth saving?

What are you doing for our planet?

The Second Date (or is it 3?)

Notice how I've managed to insert a pretty picture at the top of the blog? It didn't quite turn into the header bar that I wanted, but again, I will regard this as another date in the Technology and Me saga.

Again, if anyone knows how I can get it to look more like a header bar, by all means.... drop me a line. I'm ever willing to learn!

Oh, pretty picture courtesy of Shutterbug who snapped this on our weekend trip to Stratford in May last year.

Cameo

If you've been following the blog for a while, you already know that I have the capacity for some epic dreams. You only have to see here or here for proof. But last night, I had a first. A featured guest appearance by a blogger pal!

Yup, it was none other than Timorous Beastie who had a guest role in last night's dream sequence as a consultant helping me to kick off my new foundation to help kids with cancer. Beastie showed up at my dream office, plonked down (at my colleague's desk) and began typing out a launch plan for this new foundation. I believe she had everything decided in under 30 minutes after which she packed up and declared that she was leaving.

If that wasn't bizarre enough, that scene was followed by someone (I'm assuming me) interviewing Beastie re her cameo in my dream and asking her if she'd like to return. I don't remember the answer. I hope it was yes!

Take 2

Ok, so I figured out the embedding part.... now there's the size part to consider. And yes, I did try to change the height and width requirements - didn't work. Still, I will consider this a step towards ultimate techie success! Its not a sprint my dears.....







PS: "Figured out" consisted of following step by step instructions from Jules.

Irony

I'd been meaning to cancel my gym membership for some time now seeing as a) I would no longer need their services in Scotland and b) my dancing was giving me all the exercise I needed at this time.

Accordingly, I trotted off at lunch today to get the paperwork done. The customer service rep at the gym was obligated to ask me a laundry list of questions before he would just terminate my account. I was in a particularly cheerful mood, so I started off obligingly, but by page 3 boredom set in and I started making up answers. He must have sensed this - I had just stated that the dimensions of the yoga studio were not in accordance to my religion - and so asked if I could give him a final statement re my reason for discontinuing the membership.

My answer: I can now fit into a size 10 pair of jeans, and that is enough to make me happy.

I left the gym and walked into the Tim Horton's next door and bought a chocolate doughnut.

Hand of God

As my wretched cold continued into today as well and forced me into house arrest for the second day in a row, I looked back on some of my travel pictures and found these I'd like to share. Taken on my second day on the Gold Coast, one of the most spectacular sunsets I've ever witnessed.

Much Needed Cheer

My friend Maestro sent me this to cheer me up when he heard that I was at home and suffering from the sniffles and frog-in-the-throat syndrome. I thought I should share the love.

Enjoy!

PS: Can someone tell me how I can upload the video right into the blog post? My tech skills are limited as you all know!

My New Loves!

Was finally able to find me a pair of dance shoes that fit both my not-so-dancer-like-size9-feet as well as my rapidly-shrinking budget. I proudly present to you, my new ballroom babies!
With just the right balance of support and style, these shoes are going to help me do wonders on the dance floor! Man, am I going to nail those triple turns in the Cha Cha and demolish the rope spin into Aida of the Rumba. Henceforth, the intricacies of the Quickstep will be vanquished and the dizzying spin turns of the Viennese Waltz are like a walk in the park.

Oh, I am so looking forward to class next week!

Exit Strategy

Turns out, it was just hunger that was making my tummy turn into knots. As soon as I started telling my VP about my decision to leave and my upcoming plans, I felt much better and much relieved! She was super cool about it, other than the fact that she was wailing I thought I had you for AT LEAST another year. But I suppose I can take that as a compliment?

Sat down with her today to map out my wind down over the next few months and plan for my replacement. Turns out, she'll have to fill my spot with two people, so now I'm thinking I should have asked for a raise while I was at it!

For 3 hours we toiled divvying up this year's budgeted internship numbers between my colleagues and trying to figure out the best way to reallocate my clients. I hated it. These were accounts that I had nurtured and grown over the past 2 years; put my blood, sweat and many a tear into promising results. There were some that I had worked on for such a long time. I didn't want to have to just pass all that hard work on for someone else to reap the benefits! It hardly seemed fair. I also found out that there was a promotion in the works for me, should I have stayed. For a second, I was tempted to take it all back. Then I thought about all those exciting lists I'd made and I was fine with it. There will be other jobs, and other opportunities, but only one lifetime.

The Sound of Silence

I've never had so much to say on the blog until my decision to move and all the excitement that followed.

Sometimes though, I feel like I'm talking to myself here. Which is a pity because I would dearly love for people to comment on the happenings, give me advice and the likes.

Then again, perhaps these ramblings are no different from the multitude of thoughts I have swimming around in my head - and I'm certainly hearing no voices in response to them. At least, not recently!

I'm about to have lunch with my VP and tell her about my leaving. Why am I so nervous? Its not a job interview! Maybe I'm just hungry. I usually eat at noon and perhaps my stomach is protesting via my madly thumping heart.

A Close Shave

My travel agent and I had been engaged in oodles of research for my ticket to the UK, scouring the Internet and flight websites to find the best deal to Glasgow in the peak of summer!

There were all sorts of variables to consider. The charter airlines like Air Transat had the cheap fares, but their baggage allowance was negligible for a girl trying to move multiple pairs of shoes across the Atlantic! The larger airlines had the right amount of baggage allowance, but either the connection times were too short or too long, or the price was too high or there was something else that wasn't quite right.

Finally, after much searching and changing around the travel dates a number of times, we found the best fare on KLM via Amsterdam for a July 15th departure arriving into Glasgow on July 16th in the afternoon. Ironically, it was July 16th 2001 when we arrived in to Toronto from Bombay - so I guess that's some sort of auspicious travel time for me!

I gave my credit card details to the agent and told her to go ahead with the booking.

About 15 minutes later, I happen to check my yahoo inbox and see a Facebook message from a friend. Try Icelandair was all it said.

I looked at the message, but didn't really pay too much attention. After all, I'd just made the booking. Still, my curiosity got the better of me, and I went to their website and punched in my travel dates. The result came up, and I nearly had a coronary.

It was $600 cheaper than the KLM fare!

I was on the phone to the travel agent in an instant yelling Stop the Presses.........don't process the payment.............praying the entire time that she hadn't been trigger happy with my credit card number!

Thankfully, she hadn't, and so after checking to make sure that I'd have the same baggage allowance as KLM was offering and that there were no extra hidden fees, she booked me on the Icelandair flight.

So I'm now officially leaving on July 14 2009. 99 days till liftoff!

Preparation

Ma Nature is apparently getting in on the act of preparing me for my upcoming departure to the land of thistle, bagpipes and................everlasting rain. We woke up this morning to freezing rain mixed with snow and a forecast of 3 cms of accumulation for the GTA and up to 25/20 cms for certain parts of Ontario!!! Oh for heavens sake!

To add insult to injury, today is the Jays' Home Opener down at the Rogers Centre. That's supposed to mean THE END OF WINTER folks! They're not called the boys of summer for nothing!


Who can I call and ask for a refund on my Spring? Provincial govt or the Feds?


The rain in Scotland however cannot be a deterrent because if one waited until the weather was nice to make plans or "do" something...well, one never would end up doing anything! As such, Beans and his team mates who are training for the Maggie's Bike and Hike charity event in 4 weeks time were off hiking in the Scottish highlands near Ben Alder on Saturday. As the story goes

"....it started lashing down with rain as soon as we left the house with the kind of intensity that would have put a smile on Noah's face. Being kitted out with the latest in waterproof clothing we stayed dry for nearly seven minutes. After that it was similar to being in the shower, except cold, and we were fully dressed and there was no shampoo. Beans and I calculated that twenty five miles is the equivalent to walking up and down an average length bath 13,000 times."

For more on the Leaping Badgers and their training antics, see here. I really do hope that these eejits actually make it to the day of the event in (relatively) one piece and don't all succumb to pneumonia from walking around in the freezing rain for 7.5 hours.

The Best Laid Plans.........

............most often go askew.

Like my grandiose plans of a road trip to the Gaspe and New Brunswick in early July. It was to be my "last hurrah" before I left. One last saunter off into the wilds of Canada with best buds Trippy and Beer Baron. Ah, well. It was not meant to be. And you never know.... we could just end up doing an impromptu road trip at any time! *fingers crossed*

On the other hand, I did chance upon some good leads for dance spots in Glasgow for both International Ballroom and West Coast Swing. Which is very very good news as it means that I'll be able to practice my skills, get some good exercising in and hopefully make new friends!

This is NOT going to deter me from making lists. Au Contraire!

Thai food and Protests - All in a Days Work

Today was the last day of Jules' work/fun vacation and I travelled down town to meet up with her for one last round of fun 'n frolic. Given that Jules is heading back to a (self described) sandbox with limited options for world cuisine, we headed over to Salad King, one of the most awesome Thai restaurants in the city where we proceeded to chow down on Phud Thai and Satay Chicken and Golden curry with rice................
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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Sorry... just reminiscing.

Our tummy filled to busting point, we wandered down to Dundas sq where there was a protest in progress. Curious, we went in for a closer look only to find that this was the "One Size fits All" kind of protest since there were banners and placards reading all sorts of messages like Bring the Troops Home - NOW and More Healthcare for All, Avert Economic Mess (a little too late if yer ask me) and even something about Child care that we didn't quite catch. Here's a picture of Jules and the protesters.
And here's one of her just being touristy. Notice, it was a VERY windy day! This was also to prove to certain unbelievers that my blog buddies are NOT just all in my imagination! They really DO exist!

Didn't have much time for anything else other than one last wander through the Eaton Centre where Jules seemed to know her way around that mall much better than me. Guess it was all that time she spent in there dutifully contributing to Canada's economy. Thanks Jules - much appreciated.

She's off home now, but we already have plans for another meet up in August when I'm in her neck of the dessert visiting Israel. I do hope that works out. Meeting my imaginary friends is a whole heap of fun!

Taking Care of Business

Took my first step towards wrapping up my affairs here in the T Dot and called in to the TTC to cancel my monthly transit pass effective June 30. This was just the first in the long long list of things-to-do-before-I-leave series.

But I had to start somewhere. And now that I have, there's a long road ahead!

Wish Lists

I'll bet you guys were wondering what took me this long to come up with one of my famous lists. Actually, the lists were started in my head the day I decided to make the move, just didn't get around to putting them down on the blog. So, without further ado:

Places to visit in the UK on weekend road trips:

• Isle of Skye
• Fyvie Castle (one of my current clients grew up on the castle grounds - how cool!)
• Oban Distillery (I hear its one of the finest)
• Inverness (how can I not?)
• Aberdeen
• Eilean Donan Castle (where parts of Harry Potter, Highlander and the World is Not Enough was shot)
• Isle of Cumbrae
• Isle of Arran
• Stonehedge
• Old city of York
• City of Lancaster (on the hunt for a Beastie)
• Plymouth and Torbay, Cornwall
• Liverpool (because that's where Sigsy is from, and any place that produced a Sigsy is worth a visit)
• Barrow-in-Furness (just because it has an awesome name... and I'm sure they'll have beer there)
• Dover (to see those famous white cliffs for myself)
• South Harris (recommended by Beastie)
• The Orkney Islands (recommended by Jules)
  

Places to visit in Europe:

• Prague, Czech Republic
• Ljubljana, Slovenia
• Barcelona, Spain
• Paris, France (for my birthday)
• Istanbul, Turkey
• Copenhagen, Denmark
• Moscow and St. Petersburg, Russia
• Lisbon, Portugal
• And OF COURSE - Dublin, Galway and Cork (and more) in Ireland
  

Things to do/see/experience:

• Get Cineplex movie pass for unlimited movies in a year (isn't that a great deal?)
• Visit Kelvingrove museum in Glasgow to view some interesting exhibits
• Explore the Necropolis, Glasgow city
• Attend at least ONE function where I get to wear a hat (wedding, Ascot, tea with the Queen... I'm not picky)
• Sign up for a year long membership to the Scottish Heritage Trust to get me some discounts into castles, churches and the likes
• Check out the annual Highland games and all the related activities
• See a real live Puffin
• Check out the Edinburgh Fringe Festival
• Set off fireworks on Guy Fawkes day
• Attend at least one soccer, rugby and cricket game
• Find me an early edition copy of The Enchanted Woods and The Magic Faraway Tree, two of my all time favourite children's books
• Take a picture with a Shetland pony (aren't they just darling?)
• Go to the Edinburgh Tattoo (recommended by Jules. This is NOT a tattoo festival - contrary to what I first though!)
  

Any suggestion my dear readers? I'm all ears!

Divine Intervention?

I spent most of yesterday at the National Job Fair where my company had a booth. Usually a busy event, yesterday saw almost 4 times the regular number of job seekers. All morning long I listened to folks tell me about how they had been working for 20, 30 years and were now laid off. By the time my colleague came by to relieve me, I was almost as desperate as the 1000s of job seekers.

WHAT WAS I THINKING????? - was the primary line running through my head. The whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, the global job market SUCKS and new opportunities are rarer than healthy food at MacDonald's.... and here I am blithely thinking about chucking my very nice, very well paying, very comfortable SECURE job and heading off into the unknown. I was a mental wreck for the rest of the day.

And then, when I got home at night I was randomly surfing channels and chanced upon the pilot of a new show on ABC. "Cupid" is about a 30s something guy claiming to be the Roman god of Love. Currently stripped of his powers, must somehow unite 100 couples before he can return to Mount Olympus. The pilot was about how he was trying to help a young musician from... yes, you guessed it - Ireland who'd come to New York in search of a girl he'd met holidaying in Ireland. They'd had a brief chance interaction, but the young man was convinced that this was the girl of his dreams. Long story short, the guy finds the girl, but realises that she's not the one after all and that its been this other girl who actually did a story on him and got him the publicity that he needed. Thanks to the publicity though, immigration catches up with him and he's forced to leave the US. Cupid catches up with the girl (the actual love) and tries to convince her to go to him in Ireland to which she says "I've got a life here. A job. A family. My friends. What's out there other than the unknown and a mere chance at happiness?"
But she does go. Drops everything - job, life, friends - everything. And we'll never really know what happened because that's not how TV dramas work.

And as crazy as it sounds, I went to bed peaceful. Yes, its just a silly TV show (which probably won't make it past the first few episodes). Actual love stories rarely have that kind of fairy tale ending. Still, it was hard to ignore the obvious parallels in story line; it was too close to my truth.

I snuggled down to sleep finally at peace after a long and agitated day calm in the realization that even the slightest CHANCE at happiness is better than a lifetime of not knowing.

My dreams were peaceful that night.