Wednesday, June 03, 2009

How to Spot an Eejit: The Recruitment Model

The past few weeks at work have been particularly interesting for me as I'm in the process of winding down operations, handing over key clients to my colleagues and also recruiting for my replacement as well as 2 other newly created positions in my company.Sidebar: Isn't it nice to actually hear of a company expanding in these gloomy times? So many people have commented on how unusual it is to hear about a Non Profit expanding right now, but we're doing well and actually our services are more in demand than ever!
Anyway, I degrees. Back to the recruiting.

I've done a fair bit of recruiting over the years both here as well as in previous jobs. Although the actual interview part is fun - you get meet all sorts of interesting peeps - the lead up to that can be a painful process akin to pulling teeth!
The past few weeks have been an endless run of creating job descriptions, scanning resumes and trying desperately to find the good ones from amongst the mountains of rubbish. And I do mean mountains given that so many people are out about job hunting right now and a lot of those have the idea that they'll just apply to every and all postings in the HOPE that someone out there will give them a call.
Well, that's just the very worst approach to a job hunt in my (humble) opinion and all it does is piss off the person who has to wade through all the rubbish resumes. In this case, ME.
Still, every now and then I do find a resume that makes me pause. Not so much because the person has a great skills set or an amazing cover letter, but more because of the absurdity of the statements in the resume or appalling and very obvious grammar and spelling errors and (best of all) outright pleas to be considered for the position.
Really? You want to apply for a management position where you'll be overseeing projects and liaising with external clients and you start out by begging??? Really?
The list of stupid statements is endless, so I've tried to narrow it down to the gems of the lot. Like the guy who began is cover letter with a "Good Morning Madam, I hope you are enjoying the sun." Of course, this would have been a lovely greeting had the sun actually been shining on the day I read his application instead of the torrential downpour that soaked me on my way in to work that morning. Or the candidate who stated that they had "tactile AND hands on experience with managing projects". I wanted to call him back and offer him a new thesaurus.
Then there was the guy who was "affortless" at integrating new solutions to old problems. And while we're talking about problem solving skills, let's not forget the candidate who declared that she possessed "extra traditional yet creative" problem solving skills. My thought - huh?
And let's not forget the plethora of unprofessional emails attached to these applications like, and my personal favourite,

In spite of the obvious frustration around having to sum up one's entire professional life into 2 or 3 concise pages, I still think that resume writing is essentially simple.
Don't write it in all caps, do spell check, and most certainly don't list drinking as a hobby.

1 comment:

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