Monday, November 30, 2009

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

A couple of weeks ago I put out a wish list. One of my wishes was a sign (any sign) that things were going to get better for me. Christmas is 4 weeks away, but it seems that already my wishes are coming true!

Looking back on Friday night's success I now know THAT was my sign. I just didn't recognise it at first. I was so busy looking for something like a job offer or a declaration of devotion, I didn't realise that the "sign" that I was so desperately looking for was right in front of me the entire time. (Typical eh?).

The fact that I was able to stop thinking about my own misery for a change and instead focus on something new instead, was the sign.
That I made a tangible and positive contribution towards planning an event that was going to help not so much me, but a lot of very deserving folk, that was the sign.

Yes, I still don't have a job and things are getting to be rather dire in the money corner; yes, I'm still hurt over the mess that is my personal life and my little heart is far from healed. But perhaps that is a sign as well. Perhaps it means that it is time to pack up and leave. All this time I've been fighting against this. I kept telling myself that if I stayed and got a job, my life would be turned around and I'd have new (and happier) memories of my time in G Town.

In a way, that's just what happened when I took on responsibilities connected to organizing the Ball. For the past 2 months, I've been too busy to mope around and grieve for things lacking in my life. I seem to have taken all of that pent up spirit and poured it into making this event a success. And now, with early estimates of profits showing at around £35,000 I can truly say that I have not just a great, but a TERRIFIC memory of my time here.

One wish down. Will the rest come true?

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Belle of the Ball

Two months of hectic preparations all came to a head last night at the Crowne Plaza hotel here in G Town. 360 guests gathered in the Argyll Suite for a champagne reception that was followed by a scrumptious 3 course meal. There were lavish auctions prizes, a car to be won as part of the main raffle event, an amazing line up the silent auction tables and a host of fun prezzies.

I had worked on this event since September, C even before that. It had meant long hours, sleepless nights and piles of anxious meetings over whether we would meet our targets for the night.

Even with a few hiccups, the evening was a raging success and early estimates show that we made about £27,000 that night. Adding that to the £20,000 already in the bank, it would seem that 3 well deserving charities in Glasgow are going to have a great start to the festive season!

No wonder then, that although we were almost shattered with exhaustion by the end of the night, C and I just had to pose for the cameras and share one gigantic hug as we rejoiced in our shared success.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

All I Want for Christmas

Anyone who knows me, even a wee bit, will attest to the fact that I am a truly Christmas person. I love the sparkly look everywhere as shop windows and streets are lit up with fairy lights. I love planning my mum and her sisters and sis-in-law all do to make sure that the family is (very) well fed at Christmas dinner. I love the thrill of finding *just* that right present for that certain someone you've been agonising over!

But even for a Christmasaholic like myself, I cannot get over how every year the season seems to begin earlier and earlier. There have been days when I've seen stores and malls all decked out for Halloween on October 31st and then *boom* on November 1st that has magically changed into a Winter Wonderland ready to usher in the Season of Shopping!

This year too, it was no different. The "official" lights of the city of Glasgow were lit last Sunday. Christmas music is blaring over the store loudspeakers and tinsel is just everywhere.

Every year, I bitch and moan about the bastardisation of my favourite time of year. About how its increased commercialisation has ruined most of what I hold dear about the season. About how presentings and spendings are the values that are worshiped in lieu of love and truth and kindness. I usually get so caught up in trying to sidetrack the gory parts, that I almost miss out on the rest. The actual good stuff, that I love.

This year, I'm trying something different. If I cannot beat the commercialisation, then I'm going to join in. And love it. Dammit, I'm not letting those cash-grabbing-soul-killing-Christmas-stealing grinches get the better of me this time.

And so, dear readers. I present.... my wish list!

  • One pair of fuzzy, warm bedroom slippers
  • One bathrobe. Preferably also of warm(ish) material
  • One bandaid for a sad and broken heart
  • One (just one) sign that things will get better for me
  • One last chance to see my Papa again and give him the biggest hug
Santa, St. Nick, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny. Yoda. Whoever you are out there granting these wishes. I can assure you that I've been a good girl this year. At least, I've tired my very best to be. I ask that you please grant me my Christmas wishes.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Two Steps Back. I Think.

Saturday passed in a comfortable haze. The rain pelted down incessantly outside my window causing folks with weekend plans all sorts of minor headaches. Since I had none - plans that is - I was just fine curled up on the couch tapping away on my keyboard filling out application forms.

Gingersnap dropped in on her way out to a party with a whole bunch of DVDs on loan from Colossus. I knew Beans was going to the same party since he'd mentioned it during our phone call on Friday night. So also Ms. McSlutty from last week. My curiosity got the better of me, and I asked Gingersnap about her. The answer was not what I was expecting.

Turns out, she's one of their mutual friends. But she's a McSlutty alright,
Gingersnap snorted. She'll flirt with anything that's wearing pants. Anytime. Anywhere. If that's the girl you mentioned Beans was "with" last weekend, then I'd say it was a 99% chance that she initiated what you saw. Probably did her best to keep it going too.

Not quite sure what to make of this revelation, I bid goodbye to Gingersnap who promised to text me from the party should she see a repeat of last weekend. Later, I got a message saying that Beans hadn't shown up and said that he wasn't feeling well. McSlutty on the other hand had found a new couch partner for that night.

Still thinking about G's parting words, I began to question what I had "seen" last weekend. Had I just imagined everything? Taken a simple gesture of an arm around someone and heads bent together in conversation to mean much more than it actually had been? Had I completely misread the situation and had made a mountain of a molehill? I tried to recall the scene. Play it back, take in the details. But it was all fuzzy and I started to give myself a headache with questioning everything.

I turned off my phone and went back to my marathon movie night.

Sunday was almost half over before I surfaced. Thankfully the rain had ceased and the forecast promised overcast skies, but clear. Against my better judgement, I texted Beans and asked if he was doing ok. Not sick. Just tired from the painting. Want to go see a movie? was the reply. We decided on a 3:15 show that afternoon. Almost at once, he called back. Ireland was playing Australia in Rugby and he'd forgotten about that. But if I wanted, I was welcome to come over and watch the game at his place. It actually worked out perfectly, since a) I'd spend way less watching the rugby match than I would at the movies and b) I needed to head into the city centre anyway as I was meeting Gingersnap later.

That afternoon was the best times I've spent with Beans in... well.... forever. He had all these diagrams ready for me to explain the rules and the plays, and painstakingly answered all of my questions - and we all know just how much guys hate talking when watching sports! It was fun. Real fun. Easy, no bull shit, relaxed fun. Something we hadn't had together in a long long time. And it helped that Ireland put on a good show to spectacularly tie the game just 2 seconds before the clock ran down.

He made me dinner, we laughed and chatted some more. As I gathered my things to leave, he asked if he could tag along. Gingersnap and I were meeting at George Square to watch the Christmas lights turned on. It was hardly a private meeting, so I said yes. We met G and Colossus, listened to the music, watched the fireworks, clapped when the lights went on and then ducked past the 100s of families with kiddies towards the Counting House and a pint.

Beans walked me to the bus stand after. The rain that had held off all evening finally started to pitter patter. Neither of us had an umbrella and we drew into the shelter of the store awning. Danielle Steele couldn't have written a better scenario. The bus was ages coming and we were getting increasingly wet. So instead, we walked back to his place and watched the new season of Top Gear. Curled up together on the couch, our wet clothes drying on the radiator.

That night, leaving was not an option. I wish I could say it were, but in honestly, I didn't even once think about it. Staying with him and making love to him was the only thing that felt right.

Had he planned the whole thing? Maybe.
Had he wooed me that evening? Definitely.
Had I just destroyed whatever progress I had made on Friday night? Perhaps.

I don't know what is the right thing and the wrong thing here. I'm flying blind. The only thing I do know, is that Sunday was a great day for me. A relaxing day. A FUN day. I hadn't tried too hard and he hadn't been a jerk. Far from it.

I do know that I could do with more days like that. Rain and all.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Little White Lies

There had been no word from Beans since the party last weekend. Ironically, after everything that transpired that night, I ended up sharing a cab home with him and Jellycake and Sabs at the end of the night. Fortunately, mine was the first stop and I think I was out of the door even before the cabbie had pulled over.

Dead silence all this week. Not a call, email or even text message.

Then today. A phone call from Beans asking what I was up tonight and if I wanted to pop round to his for pizza and a DVD. The time? 6:23 pm, when most people would already have firmed up plans for the evening. I can only imagine that his fell through, and I was the convenient backup.

And so, it gave me the greatest pleasure to be able to say, No thanks, but I can't. I have plans.

It may not be an adequate payback for last weekend, but I'm sure it counts for something!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

What Lies Beneath

Last night I was invited out to a friend's post Hallowe'en party. The theme was Steam Punk fashions, something that I had no clue about. Not wanting to spend anything on an elaborate costume, I dug deep into my very limited wardrobe and came up with:
  • One pair of army fatigues
  • One pink corset
  • Matching jewellery
Jellycake was nice enough to help me with doing my makeup and hair for the night; I'm totally miserable at that kind of thing. I cannot even begin to count the number of times I have stabbed myself in the eye while trying to put on eyeliner or mascara. Nothing about a red, watery, twitchy eye is remotely appealing! Under Jellycake's masterful expertise however, the results were much much better and sans any eye piercing drama.

Little did I know just how grateful I would be for a face full of makeup later on when I saw Beans snuggled up on the couch with one of the girls at the party. I wish I could report that I got my own back in the same manner, but I just wasn't up to playing vixen that night. Instead, I took my bottle of vino and crept away to the stairwell where I spent most of the night listening to the sounds of the party knowing that somewhere in there, the love of my life was making small talking with Bambie MacSlutty.

Its a good thing that I listened to Jellycake and had worn the waterproof mascara. I can attest to the fact that it really works.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Peace of Mind - Sort Of

Lying curled up in my bed this morning, I was willing my pleasant dreams to continue so that I didn't have to wake up to the harsh reality of the pouring rain outside my window and the fact that it was the weekend, and I had nary a plan in sight.

A heavy knocking on my door got me jumping out of my revelry and out of my warm bed.

At least, it was worth it. At the door was a delivery guy with a most precious possession - my passport!

Two trips to Edinburgh, 3 couriers between Canada and the UK, umpteen phone calls and emails (that never got returned) and an obscene amount of money and 32 days after I'd first put in the application, the Indian government saw fit to give me a visa at last.

For the record, I am still waiting on the "surrender certificate" that they are to issue me after I handed over my old Indian passport. For the £90 that I had to pay for it, it had better be a worthwhile document.

But right now, I will sigh with relief and start to look forward to a long awaited vacation and the thought of being able to see my darling Papa again.

Friday, November 06, 2009

Big Bang Theory

As the popular saying goes, When in Rome, do as the Romans do. For new inductees to a city and culture such as moi, this really helps in the trying-to-figure-the-locals out category. When VBF texted me about "going to the fireworks" I had not the foggiest what she meant, but I sent back an affirmitave response. I just figured she was getting a head start on planning for New Year's!

Turns out, she meant Guy Fawkes Night and the annual fireworks display at Glasgow Green.

And so, we headed over last night - along with about 40,000 other firework enthusiasts who were all thanking their personal lucky stars for the unexpected lull in the rain that had otherwise poured down constantly over the past few days.

I did ponder the absurdity of cememorating a failed attempt to blow up something by now blowing up and setting fire to a large number of objects!

Ah well, there's the British sense of humour for you!

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Dressed for Success

As I left my flat this morning heading out to the interview, I felt good. Really good.

I had gone over all the information on both the job as well as the organisation. Notes had been made and revised and reviewed.
There had been practice runs of mock interviews. Twice.
I had gone over all the expected questions, and some unexpected ones as well.

Then, there had been the unexpected find of a kick-ass suit jacket at Dorothy Perkins yesterday for the unbelievably low price of £6.80!!! (yeah!)

But all that aside, the fact that I was wearing my best pair of CFM undies and my hot hot pink lace uber sexy bra made me feel that no matter what happened at the interview, I was already a winner!

And THAT my friends, is dressing for success!

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