Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Stupid Parents = Stupider Children. Help stop this cycle of destruction!!

By most accounts, Queen Victoria was a cranky old bat who lived and reigned far longer than she should have. Still, I cannot help but feeling a surge of love for the old girl every spring when we are graced with a much coveted day off on the 3rd Monday of May in celebration of her birthday.

I was supposed to head over to Shutterbug's place on Saturday for a pot luck + communal viewing of Eurovision 2009. Most ashamed to say that I had never even HEARD of Eurovision until she sent out the invite a few weeks ago and even then, I had to go google it! Who knew this had been going on for almost 50 years??? Beans scoffed at the whole concept, but was also quick to point out that Ireland had apparently won the most times! (funny boy!). Anyway, that's where I had planned to be on Saturday afternoon, thinking that it would a great addition towards my Preparing to Live in Europe series. But, life turned out differently and thanks to some majorly yucky sensations in my tummy I was huddled in bed until late afternoon. Texts back and forth t'ween Beans (who was in Ft. Williams at an Iron Man contest with some mutual friends) and I made me feel heaps better and by that evening.

Sunday morning dawned bright and beautiful and it seemed a pity to waste such a glorious day indoors. A quick bout of calls to Beer Baron, Trippy and Lady Killer had us all heading out to the Toronto Zoo where we spent a de-lightful afternoon animal gazing. Not so de-lightful however was fighting our way through the crowds and crowds of families each with a couple of strollers that were close in size to a mini humvi! Apparently, "I have a kid" is a good enough reason for every parent to abandon all rules of polite social conduct - such as waiting in line - and push and shove ones way to the front. This would make sense in a situation with only ONE person with a kid/stroller such as at a bus stop or subway, but doesn't really work the same when about 20 people around you ALSO have over sized stroller filled offspring. Trippy and I kept hoping that a couple of the parents would get into an all out stroller battle and we would have been so ready with a play by play commentary!

The abundance of species Parentus Stupidus made us realize just why there are so many kids who grow up to be total douchbags; really, they cannot help it after the constant interaction with douchbag parents throughout the formative years of their life. Case in point, at the Artic Wolves paddock, Parentus Stupidus # 1 to her youngins: Oh look at the cute white doggie boys. His name is Wolf.

And a few years from now, we will hear about this same kid being mauled by a grizzly on a camping trip because he went to play with the little brown bear that was just like Teddy.

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