A couple of weeks ago I put out a wish list. One of my wishes was a sign (any sign) that things were going to get better for me. Christmas is 4 weeks away, but it seems that already my wishes are coming true!
Looking back on Friday night's success I now know THAT was my sign. I just didn't recognise it at first. I was so busy looking for something like a job offer or a declaration of devotion, I didn't realise that the "sign" that I was so desperately looking for was right in front of me the entire time. (Typical eh?).
The fact that I was able to stop thinking about my own misery for a change and instead focus on something new instead, was the sign.
That I made a tangible and positive contribution towards planning an event that was going to help not so much me, but a lot of very deserving folk, that was the sign.
Yes, I still don't have a job and things are getting to be rather dire in the money corner; yes, I'm still hurt over the mess that is my personal life and my little heart is far from healed. But perhaps that is a sign as well. Perhaps it means that it is time to pack up and leave. All this time I've been fighting against this. I kept telling myself that if I stayed and got a job, my life would be turned around and I'd have new (and happier) memories of my time in G Town.
In a way, that's just what happened when I took on responsibilities connected to organizing the Ball. For the past 2 months, I've been too busy to mope around and grieve for things lacking in my life. I seem to have taken all of that pent up spirit and poured it into making this event a success. And now, with early estimates of profits showing at around £35,000 I can truly say that I have not just a great, but a TERRIFIC memory of my time here.
One wish down. Will the rest come true?