Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Missed Call

Today, she would have turned 86. There would have been a flurry of phone calls from all over the world; children and grandkiddos and random family and friends calling in to wish her happiness and love.

She loved phone calls. Love chatting with anyone really. It never ceased to amaze me just how well connected she was to the vast networks of happenings in the outside world even though she rarely went out any more. There was this little book where she painstakingly recorded births, deaths, anniversaries and other important dates. Every morning, she'd look up the date and then call around to wish anyone who was celebrating that day.

My aunt tells me that there were a high volumes of calls today. Even though she isn't around, people were still calling in. I guess they miss the phone calls just as much as I do.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

When it Rains, It Bloody Well Pours!

As if the high from the Paddy's day party wasn't enough, I woke up bright and early last Sunday morning in the mood for more thrills. I'd heard about a free walking tour in Edinburgh. T'was the same company as the one I had just done in Paris, and since the first one was so good, I thought I'd give this one a go. Post tour, I got chatting with the guide and he mentioned that the company was hiring guides for the summer. As luck would have it his manager was just finishing up with his own tour group near by and so I wrangled out an introduction. The manager was nice enough to tell me a lot about the company and what was available, then advised me to send in an application. I did, and he called back inviting me to an interview Tuesday next week.

Then, on Wednesday, I got an email from one of the girls I had worked with at the rugby gig. She worked with a recruitment firm in Paisley (just outside of G Town) and we'd gotten talking during the day. Again, not wanting to miss out on an opportunity, I sent off my CV to her. The email was to set up a meeting for Wednesday next week.

On Thursday, I got a call from a store near my flat where I had dropped off an application some days ago. They wanted to set up an interview for Monday.

And just when I thought it really wasn't going to get any better, yesterday, Ms. Oversized Glasses (finally) replied to my (two) email(s) and said that she'd passed on my information to one of her colleagues and gave me his name and phone number. Not wanting to waste any time, I gave him a ring and had a wee chat. He asked me to send along a CV and he'd look at it. No promises, but hey... at least it was a lead!

Looks like next week is going to be very busy. One can only hope that something good will come of it.

And if not. Well, square one and the drawing board both await!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Lyrics for Life

Its been a long past 8 months. A whole lot of downs and not a whole lot of ups to counter balance that. My normally upbeat outlook has taken the worst thumping ever. There were so many dark days. Days when I would wonder what I was waking up for in the first place. I let everyone and everything else define me, and worse, I questioned my own beliefs to such an extent that soon I wasn't able to recognise me anymore.

Of course, you dear readers knew that. You were there on my mega downwards spiral, as I ranted and raged against Beans, life, the universe and everything in it. Damn, that must have made for some really bad reading!

I think I've had enough. In fact, I know I have.

I'm sick of the negativity. If you've known me at all, you know that its just not me. I love life way too much, love laughter way too much. Heck, I love beer way too much... let's face it, beer without laughter just doesn't taste as good!

And so, I'd like to borrow from the amazing Stephen Schwartz who's magical lyrics and music have inspired me to get out of this funk and get a damn life. Enough with the misery. It's time I found a new way.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes, and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free

To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown

And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!

There will probably have more bad days ahead; I'm sure that it will take a while before I'm back to pre sucky status. But I do promise to try not to dwell on the bad things. I do promise to at least TRY and find the awesome in everyday. And dear reader, thank YOU for being the awesome that has been there for me this entire time. I *heart* you v much!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Game, Set, Match.

While I was still fence sitting about going to the Paddy's Day party, there was a call from the agency re some potential work on Saturday.

Accordingly, on went the little back skirt and white top and black jacket. On went the makeup - eye coloury bits and eyelasher stuff and a dab of colour on the lips that was promptly licked off. On went the accursed pantyhose and finally the heels that would guarantee sore and achy feet before the hour was up. But hey, it was 5 hours of paid work and when they said jump, I asked, how high?

For most of the first half of the reception, the guests were more interested in stealing glances at the flat screen TVs that were showing the Scotland v. Ireland rugby game and really, so was I. As the match went on, I got more and more excited. It wasn't so much that Scotland playing some really smart ball and winning, but more that Ireland was getting the stuffing kicked out of them and all hopes of them winning the Grand Slam were being well and truly dashed. When the final score read 20-23 in favour of the Scots, I knew there was no way I was NOT going to the party and miss seeing Beans wallow in the wake of defeat.

So I went. There was a lot of rugby talk, mostly instigated by myself and yes, I had a GREAT time throughout the evening!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Finding the Awesome

Perhaps it is because I am what is possibly the very end of my proverbial tether that I am glancing around and trying to find the awesome (as my friend Trippy would say) in the small and the mundane and the seemingly unremarkable.

Like the fact that we had (almost) 3 weeks of straight sunshine here in G Town. And that Rain Man finally figured out what was making our shower head go *splutter splutter* and then made it go *shoowsh shoowsh* again. And that although my hair has grown right out of the December cut, it still manages to fall well and rest in (non product induced) bouncy glory around my neck. Or it could be the new "find-a-job" method I have adopted which is to take long walk around the city peering into shop windows looking for help wanted signs. I usually find about one or two per walk, which is not bad odds really; and hey, its a two for one deal as I'm getting a bit of exercise in as well!
And it could be that my local organic grocery store is having a sale on potted plants and I was able to pick up this little flowering pot (name unknown). If you do know what its called, do tell! Also from the organic store, a little patch of shamrock. That combined with a little milk pot from the charity shop for 40p, the entire ensemble made a lovely little Paddy's Day prezzie for Rain Man. OK, so I'll be the one actually looking after the plant, but t'was a nice gesture, no?

Best of all though when one of my rambles the other day, I spied a clump of crocus's peeping through the grass. Here's hoping that Winter has passed and that warm days are ahead.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Voodoo Cleansing

There is some funky magic happening right now. My past lives are being investigated. Somewhere in some previous existence I must have done something very very naughty. There must have been something so horrible that I have done either in this, or another life that I am paying paying paying dearly for right now.

Like the fact that exactly a month ago, Boss Man called to assure me that although he had dissolved the company it would only be a matter of a week before he had the new office up and running and I would be back at work.

A week passed, and then another. I went to Paris and returned. In between, I made a fair few calls to Boss Man, sent along a few text messages and emails as well. I finally got a text message back saying that the new office would be up and running by the end of week. When I hadn't heard back by Thursday afternoon, I sent along another text message and email asking if we could meet so that I could collect February's pay.

Since then, its been regular phone calls, text messages and emails to him asking the same question - When am I to be paid? No reply.

By my calculations, he owes me around £700 for a combination of work hours and expenses. That works out to 2 months rent... and then some. Groceries. Real food for a change. Don't get me wrong, the yogurt and raisins diet is making me very regular, but I'm kind of craving actual meals again.

And then there's all those pesky bills from the Paris trip. Which was only booked in the first place as I figured that I would be working for a few weeks and I'd be able to afford it all right.

Right now, I'm just hoping that the witch doctor soon runs out of pins to poke into the Pixy doll and that the fires of the strange magic are extinguished soon. Very soon!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Penguins at the Rugby Game

My friend the Energizer Bunny knew that I was back to job hunting since my part time work had fizzled out some weeks ago. Accordingly, she had passed on my details to a friend of her who ran an agency here in G Town. Last week, unexpected, I got a call from the agency asking if I was free for a one day assignment on Saturday. It was for hostessing duties at Murrayfield, the rugby stadium in Edinburgh.

Eager to earn a few handy pennies, I confirmed attendance right away. It wasn't until I had put down the phone that I realised that the game in question was the England v Scotland match, possibly one of the biggest games in all of the 6 Nations Rugby Tournament. Tickets for this game had been sold out about 5 minutes after they went on sale last summer. And I was actually going to be there. AND get paid in the process! How cool was THAT?

The agency was busing the G Town based girls over and as I made my way across the parking lot of the meeting point, I couldn't help giggle. There were about 15 girls all walking towards the bus all dressed in black suits, white tops and black heeled shoes. Together, we looked like attendees at a penguin convention!

On the way over to Edinburgh, I chatted with some of the other girls trying to get an idea of what exactly we were going to be doing during the day. I also made sure that I had done ok with my makeup application as per the job requirements. It had taken me 3 tries and about 4 stabs in the eye but I had finally managed to follow the carefully written make up application instructions my friend gave me. The other girls assured me I looked just fine.

At the stadium, I was assigned to a suite of 350 guests with two other hostesses. It wasn't particularly hard work, but as with all VIPs, there were some cranky ones and we were kept busy trying to appease those few squeaky wheels. Still, the day was set up so that we had to look after the guests before the game during the luncheon and then after. During the actual game, we were free to take our break.

Most of the other girls weren't interested in the match; half of them didn't even know who was playing! Not me! There was no way I could otherwise afford to be at such an event. I wasn't going to let this opportunity slip by. Grabbing a hold of the only other hostess who was interested, the two of us made our way around the stadium until we found a chink in the armour - otherwise known as the air tight stadium security - and weaseled our way into a corner of the stadium where we were able to watch almost all of the match without (much) interruption. Handy things, those little staff passes!

And what an exciting game it was! A tight scoring game with both teams scoring tries one after the other. The final result was a draw, 15 all. Not the win that Scotland wanted, but then again, not the loss that England was so determined to deliver at the same time!

Finally, a good 13 hours after we first met up at the parking lot, a troop of tired penguins shuffled off to waiting cars, most of them holding on to their high heels. It had been a fun day, but now, all we cared about was getting home and soaking our aching and blistered feet.

It was time to take off the super-hostess garb and return to being mere mortal women again.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dear God, Why Me?

Opened up my email this morning hoping, as always for word from one of the ten thousand applications I have sent out into the interwebulator world.

Instead, I see FB invite to a Paddy's Day party hosted by Beans. And who's at the top of the invite list? Ms. Skinny-Pants-Over sized-Frames. Ok, so the list is alphabetised, so it makes sense that she's right at the top, but still.

Dammit. I rocked ass (literally) at his birthday, but that was without having to face the upgraded version. Again, not going is not an option since everyone knows that I have no social life. Besides, every single other person that I know will also be at that party.

Why... why.... WHY me??

On the other hand, it might be the perfect opportunity to corner her and make her get me an interview with one of the recruiters in her company. That would possibly cement my status as the crazy, needy ex, but hey.. again.. its not like I'm climbing the social ladder, so nothing to loose.

So that's all right then. As long as I have a plan.


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

It Keeps Getting Better

The Chief Exec of the charity called me yesterday, full of excitement. He'd just got some of the volunteer information forms back and noticed that one of the new volunteers worked with a large recruitment firm. He said he'll send over her information, and perhaps I could give her a call re work opportunities.

Thrilled, I jiggled around impatiently waiting for his email to come in. When it finally popped up on my browser, I double and triple clicked it eager for it to open. I scanned the message for the name of the gift angel that would hopefully pry open the door into that uber exclusive club - employment.

And then, all my excitement went flat and my hopes, that a second ago had been soaring now lay scattered on the floor all around me.

The volunteer who worked in the recruitment agency was Beans' new squeeze.

After starring at the email for what was possibly an hour, I decided that I had already sunk so low, that emailing her really wouldn't matter. So I did. I sent her a nice little note indicating that I was interested in some of the positions that her company had posted on the website, and would she be able to direct me to the best person to chat with about the same.

Its been almost 24 hours, and no reply.

I can't believe I actually got my hopes up. What's that phrase about shame on me for fooling me twice?

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Go Figure. (pun intended)

This is the girl that my last boyfriend dated after he dumped me. Well, he was kinda dating her WHILE with me... but that's a whole other story.

And THIS is the girl that Beans has just started dating. I should mention that the only reason they met is because they were both volunteers at the last fundraising event that I organised.
How have I not yet thrown myself off the nearest available cliff?
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