Monday, May 31, 2010

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Perhaps spurred into action by Aunty's choice remarks last week, Beans messaged me at work last Sunday. He knew it was my last shift doing customer service at one of the shopping centres in central G Town. Wanna get some ice cream? went the text.

Being a lovely and totally un G Town like day (i:e bright and sunny and warm), we took our ice creams and headed down to the river for a walk. We settled down on a patch of grass and there in the sunshine, Beans asked me if I'd like to try dating again.

At this point Dear Reader, you need to know some back story. I had thought Beans to be dating someone back in Feb. Turns out, it was A date and that was it. She told me herself, ironically at the next charity event when we met. She hadn't known about me and Beans at all, still doesn't as I kept my mouth shut. Beans and I had been on cordial terms for a long time. Occassionally we would meet up for a movie or dinner or something that sounded like a date, but really wasn't. Yes, there was sex from time to time. Not regular and not often, but sometimes it happened. Please don't judge me, I am merely human.

Bottom line, things were actually quite good between us.

And then he drops this bombshell. I was uncharacteristicly quiet as I considered the question. six months ago, I would have jumped at the chance of a reunion, but now I wasn't so sure. I had finally found myself in a good place; rather a better place than the bog I was struggling in ever since last September. Convinced that the doorway leading to a relationship had been slammed shut forever, I had tried so hard to work on maintaining a semblance of a friendship between us. After all, it wasn't possible to totally cut off ties. We had too many friends in common and our paths were always going to keep crossing socially.

When I gave my answer, it was a guarded one. I did agree to try again, but I also stipulated that if we were going to date, it would have to be something that we both worked on. We would need to try and truly include the other in our lives and yes, the dating would have to be exclusive. Beans agreed to it all.

I met him briefly last Thursday, the evening before I left for my holiday. There dídn't seem to be anything amiss. Then today, I get back from a totally lovely day of sighseeing with my friend, open up my email and find this waiting for me:

As you know, our relationship has been over for quite some time now and has
been purely physical since then. I've really enjoyed the times we've spent alone
together. I'm really sorry, but, on Friday I met someone and I think I've got a
chance to make a go of it. Although I don't want to exclude you from my life, I
don't think its a good idea that we continue the relationship we've been having
until recently. I hope you understand where I'm coming from as I think this is
for the best and the last thing I want to do is hurt you.

Reader, HOW could I have let myself get fooled yet again? And dammit.... couldn't he have waited just a few more days so that I would at least have a decent holiday?

*shakes head sadly*


Elli said...

That's a bullshit thing to do.

Not that I really think Beans, having briefly met him and heard the stories of how he treated you before, is the right guy for you.

When you come back we can pretend I do not have a boyfriend, have a bottle of wine and talk about how shit men are.

The Bride said...

What classic emotional fuckwittage! One week he wants to date you (and one would hope he came to that decision after serious thought) and then a week later he's met someone else and decides she's the one? Ridiculous!

laurie said...

goddamn he is immature. you are so far ahead of him, pixy, in every way. i agree with the Bride--he meets someone and in ONE DAY decides "she's the one"? that boy has a roving eye that he needs to learn how to tame.

RG said...

Congratulations! Now you know for sure the fellow is unstable. And you got the picture just before another round of wasted days and wasted nights. His new girl will find that out someday, and that girl won't be you.

Sempre Forte!

Just ridin through. Adios.

CurlyGirlie said...

It's Jekyll.

Wandering Wynie said...

He met someone on Friday and thinks he can "make a go of it"? WTF! I know you dated this guy so he must have been a good person at least at some point but this behaviour suggests he's a little too immature for a relationship anyway. Men like that are best avoided in favour of grown up ones who make life more enjoyable instead of more frustrating. Hold out for someone better- they'll be along before you know it ;)

And honestly- telling you this in an e-mail after your 'ice cream' conversation?! The dude aint got style either!

Sanchia said...

Jesus. What a flake!

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