Monday, May 05, 2008

Table for One, Please

I have been reading blog entries of The Bride and Curly who are both currently deep in chasms of loneliness at this point of time. Curly's parents are away on vaykay and The Bride's hubby is away on business for 3 months. Two smart, sassy, beautiful and wonderful women - who are right now miserable with their current state of singleness.

About a year and a bit ago, this would probably have been me as well.

Then I went away on an extended trip where for the majority of four months I spent time with myself, by myself and with myself. True, I met friends and family along the way and often hung out with them. But I also spent extended periods of time where it was just me and my thoughts; an island in the middle of a bustling world. When I returned home, I was faced with yet another sense of alone as I was confronted with a four year relationship that had dissolved into nothing. 

In the year that has followed, I have learned to be content in singledom like I never had before. It wasn't easy, but it was surprisingly not very difficult either. Perhaps my time away when I traveled to new and often unknown places alone, now enabled me to step into that otherwise unknown territory of spending weekends alone, going to movies or the ballgame alone and eating at restaurants alone.

There are days when I feel a twinge of self pity as I watch couples on the subway or at the movies, or hear my colleague making weekend plans with her partner. I remember the time when I was in that situation and momentarily I feel a sense of loss. 

But when the moment passes, I realise that although I'd like to be able to have a special someone with whom I could make weekend plans or movie plans or life plans... I know that I don't need that someone to continue making plans in general. 

Curly, Bride... I hope that your current situtions improve. And believe me, if I were in the same city I would happily loan myself out to you right now! I enjoy my time alone - but good company is ALWAYS welcome!

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