Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Aftermath

 The last guests have just been ushered out the door and I turn back to survey the disaster zone that is my flat. If there is a direct correlation between how great the party was as compared to the mess left behind, the I'm thinking this was the party of all parties!

The clean up will take a while, especially since I'm feeling rather tender right now. But it was one helluva night. A fitting close to a week of birthday celebrations, and a terrific start to wonderful new decade ahead.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

On Turning 30

As the clock struck midnight, there was the epic noise of a door slamming shut as I crossed over the threshold and landed firmly into the third decade of my life. My friends decided that making an announcement over the mic and getting the entire pub to sing for me would be appropriate. There was a rousing cheer of "Happy 30th" at the end of the song and hearing that out loud was a very odd feeling indeed. I knew this moment was coming. In fact, the entire evening I kept checking my watching thinking, Just 4 hours left in my 20s.... just 3..... and so on.

I am now about 8 hours into my 30s having just stumbled home after the comedy night at the pub which was followed by the post comedy night at another bar. And if these past few hours are any indication of how the rest of the decade will follow, then Mercy, this decade is going to be even more manic than the last!

To commemorate the awesomeness that has been my life thus far, I've put together a list of what I consider my top 30 moments of glory. Begging your indulgence with this little piece of self promotion, I give you (in no particular order):

30 Things I did before 30

  1. Learned to tie my shoe laces and ride a bike all on the same day. Or so my mother says. 
  2. Won a dance competition. Toronto Swing Dancing Championship, 2008. West Coast Swing Beginner Category - First Place! 
  3. Saw wild elephants up close. A little too close actually.
  4. Took part in almost every extra curricular activity my high school had on offer. Art, music, drama, sports, science fair - did it all. 
  5. Completed the Tongararo Crossing; a 21 km alpine trek that climbs as high as 1900 mts. Ok, so I had to be carried down the last 1.5 kms by six German guys coz I'd fallen and twisted my knee. But it still counts. 
  6. Been carried down a mountain by six German guys. Hey, how many other people can claim that? 
  7. Sang the National Anthem at a major league sporting event.
  8. Was bridesmaid at my Very Best Friend's wedding. 
  9. Quit my job. Twice. 
  10. Took a six month sabbatical and went travelling. Then carved a niche for myself in the new career path. 
  11. Tried both skiing and ice skating. Both were epic FAILS. But hey, at least I tried. 
  12. Moved to a new country and started from scratch. Twice. 
  13. Led a successful boycott of my high school Christmas pageant in protest of exam dates clashing with production rehearsal times. Have I mentioned that I went to a catholic school run by Carmelite nuns? And that my aunt was a teacher at said school? It was my very own Norma Rae moment. 
  14. Slept outdoors under the canopy of stars in the Australian Outback.
  15. Skinny dipped in the ocean.
  16. Watched the sun rise over sand dunes in the Thar desert. 
  17. Posed nude for a charity shoot. No Photoshop was involved! 
  18. Eaten at least 5 kinds of "mystery" meats. And lived to tell the tale. 
  19. Was the youngest person ever to sit on her Parish Council. And boy did I shake things up during my tenure! 
  20. Graduated debt free. Not even a library fine to worry about. 
  21. Held my own for 4 years working as the only female in a department of 47 men in a testosterone dominated industry. Helped that I could drink most of those pansies under the table.
  22. Fallen hopelessly, passionately and totally in love. Because no matter how it ended, it was an incredible feeling while it lasted. 
  23. Dragged myself out of the cold bleak well of heartbreak and clawed my way back to the top. Three times. 
  24. Presented at an international conference on youth leadership. Again, one of the youngest presenters there. 
  25. Learned how to cook well enough to have friends around for dinner and cook yummy goodies for them. Hardly award worthy I know, but sometimes the company of good pals is worth more than a million dollar prize. 
  26. Taken a chance. On life, on a job, on love. 
  27. Nurtured and maintained several long lasting friendships that have stayed strong even through years and miles have separated us. 
  28. Co-produced a book chronicling the lives of two of my personal heroes - my grandparents. 
  29. Introduced a fair few people to the wonderful world of dancing as a Dance Instructor. 
  30. Made a cameo in a Bollywood movie. It was for about 3 seconds and I am barely visible, but I know I'm there! 


    Friday, February 11, 2011


    In a world where so much is already going so very wrong; where wars and violence, famine and floods, murder and mayhem all seem to take centre stage, do people post pics of their truly ugly babies??? I understand if you have an adorable, cute, rolly polly, wee oompa loopma like kiddo; who doesn't like to see pics of that?

    But if you have somehow managed to give birth to something that looks a bit like that thing that popped out of Sigourney Weaver in Alien, then WHY WHY WHY would you share that face with the rest of the world????

    For anyone who is even remotely confused, let me illustrate. Bellow is an example of a cute kid.

    This, on the other hand is most certainly and definitively NOT
    And ok, even if you have just reproduced and produced something that looks like it supports Darwin's theory of the missing link, that's why useful programs like Paint and Photoshop were invented. Just saying.

    Now, I realise that some of my readers are mums and two in particular with brand new wee men and it may be that this post unleashes the Mommy Dragon in them. Understanding that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and that parents especially see cuteness where non exist, I might come across as an ogre right now. But seriously, give us a break. Just as Picasso doesn't appeal to everyone, no matter how much the critics gush over his work, it is the same with babies. There are some of us who refuse to play along with this "all babies are cute" charade. I'm just vocalising what a lot of people are thinking. Perhaps that makes me the bad guy, but even bad guys have a right to their own opinion.

    **In response to Elli's comment, I'd like to say that yes, the reason I chose the pic of the new born is to lay emphasis on my point. That no matter how thrilled you are with the little leprechaun that you've just squeezed through your vajayjay, do not share these first pics with us, the rest of the uncaring world. Give the child a few days to get over the trauma of the close encounter with your intimates, let their heads get to the normal size, let all the swelling and redness subside.... and THEN post the pics. The one's where they are about a second old should be tucked away in an album marked PARENTS ONLY. 

    All I'm saying is, don't force me to share in your delusion.

    Tuesday, February 08, 2011

    Raining and Pouring

    No reference to the weather. It has actually been rather bright and sunshiney over the past few days. I am instead talking about the tendency that just as soon as you are busy beyond belief, the universe, like a cruel and sadistic boss will turn around and make sure to pile on a couple of extra tasks into your already overflowing in basket.

    Like right now. As if working two jobs plus planning a charity fundraiser that's happening in just about 3 weeks wasn't enough, I've just gotten an offer to write an article for a travel magazine. 2000 words on travel in Scotland by the end of the month. Additional problem, the magazine caters to the luxury travel clientele. So not my forte at all! And since I don't have any time to do proper research, I'll just have to go with the places that I've already been and try and write something that will turn my budget backpacking experiences into an article that will appeal to folks looking for that uber chic holiday extravaganza.

    And yet, how can turn down the amazingly fantastic offer? Finally the opportunity to write about something that I am passionate about, and get paid to do that as well! And, if they actually like my work perhaps this would mean the start of a long term business relationship! If I can get it written in time. And get stuff done for the charity event. And go to work at my two part time jobs as well.

    Pressure, much?

    Monday, February 07, 2011

    You've Got Mail

    Heard a tap at the door this morning. Opened it to find the postman there. Grinning from ear to ear, he handed me a postcard. Odd, I thought. He could have just pushed it through the mail slot. Then I looked closer and saw the address, and realised why he wanted to hand deliver this particular piece of mail.

    Saturday, February 05, 2011

    Scheming Governments

    It has been widely acknowledged that the Scotland has one of the highest percentage of obese people in all of Europe thanks to deep fried anything being on the list of your 5-a-day. The Scottish Government has been doing its best to combat this problem with a multitude of campaigns and initiatives to get the population to think and live healthy. Apparently, they have also recently teamed up with Royal Mail on a rather unique "get fit" scheme.

    At least, that is the only explanation I have as to why the postman would leave a package notice at a time when both flatmate and I were home. He didn't tap at the door, just pushed the note through the mail slot in the door and took off. By the time I got to it, and opened the door he was gone. That meant I had to walk 20 minutes up the road and over the hill to the post depot, stand in line for 10 minutes, collect the package and walk back another 20 minutes home.

    On the other hand, it DID get me out of my jammies and out and about on a particularly lovely sun-shiney morning.

    Who knows, perhaps the Scottish government might have hit the nail on the head after all and this cockamamy new idea might just work!

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