Thursday, March 10, 2011

On Dating

While chatting with a girly pal the other day, we got talking about the murky world of dating. We'd like to think that we are both smart, savvy and moderately good looking lassies. Yet, between the two of us we have amassed a rather alarming number of dating horror stories. Our conversation lasted for about 2 hours and over that time we made some very interesting observations.

For starters, we figured out that guy time is a lot like dog time, just in reverse. Every minute to a girl is about 7 hours to a guy. Which would possibly explain why when they say, I'll call you soon, and then don't call for about a week. And also why when they do finally call, they they wonder why you're so mad that they've seemingly ignored you for a good many days. Even when you're on a date, the canine like behaviour tends to persist. Chances are, about mid way through the meal they're just going to want to doggy bag the rest, go back home and get you to play with them.

Then again, I've been so far removed from the dating game that I'm not even sure where to begin. Unfortunately life is not like a game of Monopoly with a convenient start point at GO. Incidentally, if you could collect £200 at the start of each new relationship it would certainly help with all the drinks you sometimes need to consume just to be able to get through the some of the dates!

Boy speak, like boy time is another mystery. Men are always going on about how women are cryptic; honestly, they can be just as bad. For example, I was recently at a bar with this guy I fancied, and who by all accounts fancied me as well. The conversation throughout the night consisted of him trying to break down a computer program for me followed by a long analytical discussion on why the TV in the corner had a blinking light. If ANY of you out there can interpret if I am to take that as a " I like you", please, let me know.

I did try to consult my handy dandy pocket dating book, but again because its been so damned long the copy I have is hopelessly outdated and missing a few chapters. An order has been placed for a replacement - with an entire chapter devoted to computer geeks as well! However, knowing my luck by the time it arrives, I'll have met an artist or musician or space cowboy and will need a whole new edition.


laurie said...

i am sooooooo glad to be out of the dating pool. but i'm glad you're in it; i love your perpsectives.

Anonymous said...

You made me think of Ceasar Milan (you know, the dog whisperer?)... calm and assertive wins the day.

PP ;)

Heathcliffs Girl said...

OOO cowboy :o
Always fascinated with what that could have been like :/
You tell me when it does happen!

UHM also i dunno if this helps but if a guy seems sort of like-able and shows promise but is going on n on about some nonsense just kiss him.
from experience
and from male friends telling me how they sometimes ramble! when they are nervous.

The Bride said...

I have a post coming up about how men are cryptic. About how to know when they are interested - I think they call back fairly soon when they are.

Wandering Wynie said...

Techno speak is all about 'I like you'- it was probably his way of impressing you. Either that or he has a cyborg fixation that you may need to be weary of ;)

By the way- you're in Bristol over Easter?! I would TOTALLY love to meet up and decloak ;) I think it's a fab idea. How to orchestrate? Any ideas? x

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