Monday, August 27, 2007

Little Indian in the Big Woods

Determined to keep up with my new policy of expanding my horizons and making new friends, I accepted an invite from a friend to go on a camping trip. This was really taking a leap of faith as (1) I knew said friend in a very remote fashion and hadn’t even met him in the past 2 years and (2) I didn’t know any of the other people going on the trip.

Still, the mere prospect of finally participating in yet another truly “Canadian” summer experience” just thrilled me to the bones and I was all gung-ho with my preparations. Even the daunting forecast of thunder showers for Friday night and most of Saturday was not enough to deter me from enjoying my weekend.

I was supposed to get off work at noon on Friday and armed with all sorts of helpful hints from my camping savvy coworkers, I proceeded to Canadian Tire to pick up all the handy dandies I needed. Good thing everything was on sale coz as a Camping Virgin, I needed it all! Ropes, tarps, air mattress, sleeping bag, lantern, torch, insect repellent and more…. I piled it all into my cart. Next stop – the grocery store where I bought so many provisions that one would have suspected I was barricading myself in a bunker for the next 5 years! And last (but by no way least) a trip to the LCBO!!

By 6:30 when friend and friend’s friends came by to pick me up, I had 2 coolers, 2 folding chairs, 1 sleeping bag, 1 air mattress and 1 knapsack ready and waiting on my front steps. The car was already filled to the brim, so I had to leave one chair and one cooler behind, but I did manage to squeeze all the beer into various nooks and crannies. Wasn’t about to go off into the middle of nowhere with a bunch of strangers with out some backup!

Most of the folks were easy going and nice enough to get to know. Of course every rule has its exception and in this case the exception was Très Bossy Girl who’s constant nagging and whining and bitching about every little thing made me want to pitch her head first into the lake with a very LARGE rock tied to her feet! I’m sure I would have done the world a great service.

In spite of Little Missy Bossy Two Shoes, I did have a wonderful time. Not even the gloomy and wet weather could put a damper on our sprits. We indulged in game after game of Bluff and Snap; Charades provided hours of entertainment and we nearly brought down the tent with one hilarious game of Twister!

And of course there was the FOOD. Honestly, we’d hardly finished one meal before we’d get planning on the next! Food DOES taste so much better in picnic form. And the stranger the combinations, the better things tasted. And I’ll bet it was the ultra delish smells that brought a baby skunk a-sniffing round our garbage one night. Trying to shoo away a skunk and not alarm or annoy it in the process is a delicate science I tell ya! Fortunately there was no spraying incident and we did get a good laugh and pictures of Pepe perched on the bench delicately nibbling at a left over burger. I’m sure he went back to his friends telling them about how nicely the Two Feets treated him and how they should ALL drop by on the other Two Feets for a friendly visit! That probably accounted for the panicked yells we heard from other campsites later on at night!

I was back home Sunday night – exhausted, sleepy and a bit grimy. I was really glad that I could say that my first ever camping experience had been a tremendous success, but was equally happy to be back to my comfy bed and hot shower!

Monday, August 20, 2007


On a day when the temperature in the shade is a balmy 38 C, a girl gets onto the subway wearing
(1) stripped leggings
(2) a skirt
(3) a long sleeved top
(4) a halter neck undershirt
(5) a Scarf!
She DID have flip-flops on, so perhaps that was her cooling balance.

A few stops later, a guy with a bike got on. He was wearing a suit, so was obviously not going to ride the bike. Was he taking it for a train ride then?

In the seat besides me - College/ University student watching recording of lecture on his funky IMac typing simultaneous notes on the same, while listening to his Ipod and occasionally checking blackberry for messages.
This guy would be fun to watch during a power blackout. Kinda like the cold turkey patients at the Betty Ford clinic!

Twenty something year old with faux fashion label clothing and wet, limp just-out-of-the-shower hair gets onto the Rapid Transit. In the 9 minutes from end to end of the RT line, she manages to brush and twist her hair into a chic bun; apply eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara and curl her eyelashes (ouch!); apply foundation, blush, lip liner and lipstick; check teeth for breakfast remnants and dab on a bit of perfume. I almost wanted to applaud her when she finally put down the last beauty product!!

And finally,

Old man gets onto subway car wearing old but neat suit. Carrying walking stick, reads newspaper – seems like any other old man commuter. Suddenly something moving on his jacket catches my eye. I try to peer past the raised newspaper and then I see it – a mouse in his top pocket! It’s only a matter of minutes before the lady sitting next to him gives a petrified shriek and rushes to the other end of the subway car.

Old man looks up startled. Smiles. Keeps reading.

And folks wonder why I love taking transit!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Dating: Likes and Dislikes

I like,
  • The whoop-de-doo, roller coaster feeling in my stomach I’ve been getting of late when I think about a certain someone.
  • The thrill of seeing a new email or txt message – also from same someone.
  • Learning new things about the person and piecing it all together like a big jigsaw puzzle.
  • The anticipation of the next meeting where one hopes one will have as much of a good time as our last one.

    I do not like,
  • Playing the dating game.
How long should I wait before replying to a message? How long should the actual reply be? How long is too long before he calls back/ asks me out again? This whole process is driving me NUTS!

I was discussing this with The Blonde One on Sunday while we sat around making polite conversation at a Baby Shower. She gave me much hope for the situation by telling me that her boyfriend took all of 3 months to call her after their first meeting. After hearing that, I decided that my situation was downright enviable and immediately felt heaps better.

Anyway, date # 1 on Tuesday went well. We stuck to the tried and true movie-and-a-meal formula, which is great coz if you find that you have nothing to say to each other, you can at least talk about the movie! Fortunately there was much to say as the movie turned out to be the biggest honking piece of crap ever made and I was SO embarrassed for choosing it. Boy was rather nice over it and we giggled our way through the totally crap dialogues, abysmal emoting and completely ridiculous story lines.

Post movie dinner n drinks were also comfortable – light funny stories and personal-but-not-too-detailed experiences shared. Pre date I had made a list of “reserve conversational topics” should the chatter wane, but am happy to report did not have to resort to said list at all. Yes, I realize that this idea was stolen right out of As Good As it Gets but hey, he got the girl didn’t he???

Date ended with light kiss and a “I’ll be seeing you soon” – Him and “Yes, that would be great” – Me.

Now back to waiting.


Friday, August 10, 2007

Like a well Matured Merlot

The best part about being one of the very youngest among your circle of friends is that you always get to feel nice and “young’ in like” when hanging out with them. The downside can be that when out on your own, getting a reality check on the fact that you are in actuality NOT all that “young’ in like” and in fact part of the +25 age bracket can be a bit of a gob smacking experience!!

It also doesn’t help that I’m hopeless when it comes to hazarding a guess about a person’s age. I tend to judge people against myself, and that’s not a good measuring bar at all as today’s teenagers look older than I do, and I have the mental maturity of a 10 year old – on a good day!

Case in point; Earlier this year when I was traveling in Osaka, I hooked up* with two Aussi dudes and we wandered around the city together discovering the joys of the Dotonbori District. As we traded emails at the end of the night, I realized that the 86 after the one guy’s name could only stand for the year he was born making him a whole 5 YEARS younger than me!!! I had just spent an entire evening with 2 people who were probably still floating in amniotic fluid while I was in Kindergarten learning my ABCs!! Blast, Bother and Damnation!

Back in my college days, I received a gem of advice from a friend’s mom.
She said – Marry/ date someone who is at least 4 years older than you, and every day of that relationship you are guaranteed to feel good about yourself! And the day he turns 50, you will rejoice even more coz you’ll have (at least) 4 more years to go!

Ironically, all of my boyfriends have been 4+ years older than me. Well, there was that one dude I dated who was my age, but he was a rebound relationship and it only lasted 2 months anyway.

I think I generally like the idea of an “older man”. Being someone who tends to bend the scales (a bit), I like the idea of being “smaller” than my partner in some tangible sense! Some of my friends will say that I stretched this concept to the extreme with my first boyfriend who was a whopping 11 years older than I. While there may not appear to be a large gap between 32 and 43, there do tend to be eyebrows raised when it is 16 and 27!

Starting a career young can also have a distinct impact on your perceived age in the workplace. Although I was younger than most of my colleagues at my previous job, most people thought I was much older simply due to the fact that I was one of the most tenured employees in the department. Didn’t do much for my ego AT ALL I tell ya, when I was occasionally treated as being totally over-the-hill by someone who was 3 years older than me!

There are days when I cannot wait to hit my 30s. I think I’m just hoping that most of my life will be “sorted” by then. Or at least the important bits.

And then there are days when I feel that already at 26 I’m an aged fossil, and that my 30s will just be too hard to handle – especially since I’ll have one foot in the grave, and the other on a banana peel!

*Hooked up as in “hung out with” you dirty gutter inhabiting minds!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Just Breathe.....

... is the mantra I'm repeating over and over again as I sit at my desk this morning. It's day 5 now, and the AC in our office building is STILL not working!

This all began last Wednesday when finally after suffering in the heat for half a day, management took pity on us all and sent everyone home.

Thursday was only a tad bearable and Friday was awful! Half day for everyone!

Apparently, the problem is still not fixed, and the weather forecast this morning promised that today will be a hot and humid one!

Great! Just the way to begin a new week!



We all got sent home. Again.
This is becomming inconvenient. I'm falling behind on projects!
Stupid AC systems!

Monday, August 06, 2007

All the good things in life are - FREE!

One of the coolest things about living in Toronto is that you don't have to break open the bank to go out and have a good time. There's something for everyone in the city, and if you know where to look - lots of it is FREE FREE FREE! I've been out almost every day of this long weekend and still managed to keep my spendings to a minimum - which of course I love!

Par example......

Friday night's ball game - all comped! Tickets, food, beverages, and insults too! ;)

Saturday evening, met up with friends for Ballet in the Park - part of a series of free ballet performances by a professional Toronto troupe to expose more people to the arts. The show was lovely, the sets beautiful and the dancers amazing. I've loved the ballet since I was a wee lassie and even did classes for 5 years! My first starring role was a chocolate bon bon in the Nutcracker. Quite apt, as I was the roundest little thing in a tutu! Of course these days when I watch a ballet performance, it's always with the slightest tinge of envy at the fact that those petite dancers can be lifted, carried and generally flung about the stage in all manners of ease. I'd probably need a pro wrestler to do the honours for me!

Post performace, we headed over to a house party. Once again, free food and good company and there *might* have been a wee bit of flirting involved. Ah well.....I'm allowed!

Headed over to The Lady Killer & Cosmo Girl's place on Sunday night for movie night. Ok, so it wasn't totally free; I invested in a bottle of wine and some dessert, but it was a generally cost effective evening but still with sufficient fun and entertainment! Watched some bad Sunday night TV and then a great movie - Hot Fuzz. Same crew as Shaun of the Dead and just as hilarious.

And continuing with this weekend's theme of Fun Times for Free, I'll soon be enthroned on my comfy blanket under the Maple tree in the backyard with a nice book, a jar of ice-cold lemonade and some pecan biscuits.

My weekend has literally been - Priceless!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

BaSS - Part 3

It was Friday night with friends at the at the ballpark last evening. The guys and I had worked together back in the day and it was fun talking about old times and sharing gossip about current affairs *wink, nudge* Texas was in town and with Doc Halladay, our ace pitcher on the mound it was bound to be a good game.

And it was! Lot's of scrappy base running and timely hits and nice defense and we won 6-4!

I had been on a high pretty much all day anyway, and was prepared to be in love with the world - even Andy who was sitting a few rows away from us. During the course of the game, we exchanged pleasantries, high-fived good plays and tipped our hats to each other on the win. (ok, mine was a virtual tip!)

Then as I was making my way to the parking lot I get a call from him. And I quote:

"Hey, I have to kill an hour - want to go get a drink?"

No, Jacka**, I don't want to be your "kill time" buddy while you wait for your gf to get in to town.

Just in case I didn't make that clear enough last night.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Boys are SO Stupid - Part 2

So last weekend Lady Killer and Cosmo Girl hosted a party that had all the trimmings of a summer BBQ fiesta!
Good food, good friends and the definitive signs of good times…. (Yes, there are pics!)

Thanks to some totally awesome Sangria followed by a bottle (or two) of vino blanc, I was delightfully tipsy by the end of the night – which is about when that I discovered one of J’s friends had been showing a more than cursory interest in my drunken rambling stories. Drawn in by his charming smile and deep blue eyes, I continued to spew stories to him about life and love and loss, and one thing led to another and we ended up playing a very enjoyable game of tonsil hockey for the better part of the night and into the wee hours of the morning.

In the clear (and strong) light of day, a bit of mortification began to seep into my system, but Deep Blue seemed to not want to let go of the moment bestowing tiny little butterfly kisses on me – when no one was looking.

When we parted, he asked if he could call me and took my number and email.

On Monday, I received one polite message on Facebook (actually a reply to MY message) and then – NOTHING.

It’s been 5 days now, and no contact.

No phone call.

No email.

No message on stupid Facebook.



Nichego. (That’s Russian you plebeian!)

Ah well. At least he was a good kisser! Not a COMPLETE waste of my time! ;)

For more on the "Boys are SO Stupid" series, see here.
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