To Pee or Not to Pee – Part Deux

On my recent travels, my washroom visits ran the gamut from hole-in-the-ground to sparkly chrome-like sinks with posh washroom attendants in crisp uniforms! I’ll have to admit that one of the cleanest, nicest public washrooms was ironically a rest stop in India on the highway between Bombay and Hyderabad! But nothing compared to the toilet at the youth hostel I stayed at in Kyoto, Japan. I entered the toilet and found myself facing something that looked like the Captain’s Chair from the Starship Enterprise. There were side panels filled with all sorts of little buttons and big buttons and one rather large an ominous looking red one. I had used other Japanese washrooms that had heated seats and others that were decorated with Pokemon and Digimon characters, but this was something altogether different.

I sat down nervously. As soon as my butt hit the seat, the toilet began to play music! A nice little Japanese melody rang out in what I could only assume was an attempt to mask any unwelcome bowel noises that might occur during the process. Actually, a very useful invention!

Feeling a bit adventurous, I jabbed at one of the buttons that had a picture that looked like a fountain on it. An icy jet of water shot out into my girly bits and I couldn’t but help let out a gasp of surprise, which if anyone was listening would have sounded like I having a bit too much in there! It was then that I noticed a button indicating a temperature and guessing that was for the water, I upped it a bit and the water temperature went up. Ah, MUCH better!

Feeling a bit more adventurous, I jabbed at a couple other buttons and had jets of water steam out from all angles at me. In a panic tried to stop the water, but the more buttons I pushed, the more things happened including the music going louder, the auto flush was activated and the jet sprays went totally berserk. I was too afraid to get up for fear of the water spraying everywhere and by now was convinced that the entire Hostel was probably standing outside the toilet door wondering just WHAT I was experimenting with in there!

Just when I thought I’d have to sit on that potty seat for all eternity, I spied the big red button again. By this point, I had nothing to loose. Either it would either stop everything or catapult me through the door like a punch out seat in a fighter jet – either way I would be off the potty!

Thankfully, it was the former!

I cautiously stuck my head out of the toilet door. There was one dude brushing his teeth at the sink. Studiously avoiding eye contact, I muttered “g’mornin” and headed to the door with as much dignity as a soggy-bum, red-faced, morning-haired girl could muster. I was almost out, when he turned to me and gave me a smile – “Happened to me yesterday,” he said. “At least, you didn’t have to call through the door for help”

Feeling like I was the Queen Bee of Techno-Savvy Potties, I bestowed my most beaming smile on him and waltzed out with my head held high – and toilet paper trailing from under my shoe.