To Pee or Not to Pee

It is a well known fact that technology and I are only the remotest of friends. I have no clue how to operate an Ipod, occassionally have problems with my microwave and having to use more than 2 remotes to turn on the TV is a major stressor! The very fact that I’m able to keep this blog up and running is in my opinion nothing short of a bloody miracle! Of late I find that technology is advancing so quick that too many ordinary things are being affected. It’s as if techno geeks aren’t satisfied with making appliances faster, phones smaller and computers just short of having independent thinking that they now have to turn to everyday objects to try and “upgrade” those as well.

Take toilets for example. The very fact that they flush and all the poopy stuff is sucked away and you never have to see it again is itself a wonder of modern innovation. Of course the fact that little has changed with the design and working of a toilet was reason enough for folks to go tinkering around and make all sorts of “adjustments”.

Like the new “auto flush” toilets that you find in most public washrooms. They’re set to flush after you’re finished, but sometimes they have a mind of their own and randomly go off while you’re still sitting. Then of course, you end up with a wet bum – and that’s just not cool. In any case, most people (girls at least) do the “hover” over a public toilet seat so all that results in is the toilet not flushing when you’re done. Um - Ewww!

Or worse – you’re done and you stand up, zip up and are almost about to leave when you realize that it hasn’t flushed! Well, you can’t just leave, so you end up having to do the “fake sit” for a second or two. And if it still doesn’t flush, then you’re standing there in the stall peeping down into the bowl and praying that the damn thing just flushes so that you can get going!

But even if the toilet behaves and flushes when it’s supposed to, you have to then reckon with the washbasin. Every auto sink is different, so I never know whether to wave my hands under the faucet or near the wall of the sink or in any other place. I end up doing a sort of random hokie pokie kind of motion around the sink and eventually I have water. But the water disperses only in short 5 second bursts and then you have to start all over again and find that “sweet spot”.

Supporters of these new age washrooms state that these devices make it more hygienic etc etc, but really, after all of that hoop la everyone leaves the washroom by grabbing the same dirt and germ ridden door handle – so just WHAT was the point of all of the above????!!!