A Fool in Love

Friday turned out to be a very interesting and not to mention life altering day for me.

There was of course the thrill of the job offer - I couldn't have been happier at that time and was basically on cloud 9 for the rest of the day. Went to the baseball game that evening and had the pleasure of watching the Jays thump the Nationals 7-2.

Jiblett was at the game with me, and I'd forgotten just how nice it was to watch a game with someone else who really ... gets it! None of my other friends are baseball fans and getting someone to go to the ballpark with me is akin to pulling teeth! So when he said he'd come with me, it was a nice surprise.

We got talking during the game, and then after. In fact, we talked all night long.

It was long overdue. It was something we perhaps should have done 2 years ago. If only.

I said a lot of things and then I listened. We both had much to say - not all of which was pleasant to hear.

From a day that started off full of hope, full of excitement and of joy.... it had turned into one of unbelievable sadness and nothing but a sense of loss for me.

Yesterday was not good. I was sunk in a misery so deep that it took every fibre of my being not to give into the despair and do something incredibly stupid to myself that would at the very least make me very ill.

But yesterday passed, and today I woke up better. And although there is still pain, I feel like I'm in control once more.

I started listing off things that are good in my life. And amazingly, I got to over 100 points before I had to stop and think for more. My life may not be a bed of roses right now, but neither is it a hell that I cannot overcome.
I started off today well. I made an effort. I took a few steps.

I will probably fall again. And again. And then again.

But I will get up. I will keep walking. I will be strong.